When I Met Him
by Vivien Noir
Summary: You know that expression 'old habits die hard? I, Bella Swan, am the living breathing embodiment of that sentiment. Read on to discover the Five Ws and One H.
1. The Huh and the Hmm

**Ok. **

**Hello. Here is my story. Should anyone actually click on this thing and read it, I issue you a warning: This story will eventually deal with topics that aren't always pleasant to read about. Please understand that any ideas or opinions expressed are not meant to cause offense, only to depict the nature of the characters. The language can be colorful, and Bella's not excessively fond of children or organized religion. She does like her gin and tonics though. On a more serious note, there will be issues of self harm, so approach that as your instincts dictate.**

**But keep an open mind! I can assure you the scariest thing here is me thinking its ok to put my haphazard, grammatically incorrect writing on the internet for people to actually _read_. There is no beta. I'm um, keeping it real.**

**For reasons outlined above this is strictly ADULTS ONLY, and if you don't respect that... well that's not really my problem.**

**I don't own these characters.**

**Oh, and lastly, I'm not American. I've tried to make this an American story and convert all my spelling to US specifications, but if you come across any whoopsies, you'll know why. **

**Feedback would be sweet.**

**Cheers.**

There were certain things in this life that made me stop, and think '…._Huh?'_

Some of these were large scale. For example, how some dude once decided to right a pretty story about the moral code of conduct and all of a sudden people across the world bowed down and said "Amen Jesus Christ, if it weren't for you I never would've figured out that murder was bad."

…._Huuh?_

Or, how only sixty odd years ago, six million Jews were ruthlessly slaughtered because Adolf decided he wasn't really down with brunettes.

…._Huuuh?_

Or more topically, how reality TV had become a celebrated media venture. Why women enjoyed having false talons glued to their fingertips. How Nickelback was ever signed to a record label.

A thousand times …_huuuuuh?_

But presently, my '_huh?'_ moment was standing right in front of me, waiting to usher me across the threshold of my childhood home. My dad. Charlie Swan. This whole scenario qualified as a moment because it was not 24 hours ago that I'd traded in my fast-paced, cultured, exciting lifestyle in California to move back to Forks and live with my father.

Forks, the town where adventure and exhilaration comes to die a very slow, uneventful death. And the chorus goes…

If I looked at it in only those terms, then yes it was definitely mind-boggling. But in truth, even though I couldn't quite believe I was back here, the '_huuh_' aspect was steadily transforming into a resigned '_hmmm_.' This was where I needed to be right now. In this place I could conceivably finish up my high school education and move on into adulthood unscathed, mostly. The damage had been done back home and I couldn't fucking live that life anymore. So though it may appear to be a strange choice for a teenager to make, and though said choice may not have been an entirely unilateral one, I was really coming to terms with my new circumstances.

I smiled up at Charlie who looked totally blissed to have me back under his roof. He'd always been an awesome dude and though our relationship had been long distance for many years, we had a good connection.

We entered the house and headed straight up the stairs to my bedroom to dump my luggage. The only thing that had changed was the new double bed which was placed in the middle of the room, stark naked awaiting its new threads.

"Wow, Dad you didn't have to upgrade, I would've been fine on the old bed." I was lying through my teeth. That thing had been uncomfortable and I was far too accustomed to a large mattress to revert now.

"Nah, that old bed was on its last legs, couldn't have it collapsing on you in the middle of the night." He piled up my suitcase and duffle bags in front of the closet.

I moved over to bounce on the bed and it was heavenly. "Thanks heaps, its really comfy."

"You wanna unpack straight away?"

"I'm not that efficient." I laughed, if I were to hazard a guess my shit would still be in its bags this time next week, with the exception of necessities.

"Well come downstairs then, I'll make us some coffee and we can catch up properly. Someone was a bit drowsy on the ride home." His mouth curled at the corners as he ruffled my hair.

"Ok, be down in a second." I replied, smiling. I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up somewhat. It wasn't my fault I was tired on the drive to Forks. I'd had to sit next to a child on the plane and between alllllllll the inane questions and the depositing of salt and pepper into my orange juice I'd developed a sizable headache and deep respect for the inventors of contraception.

When I pushed my way through the bathroom door I stopped up short and dropped my jaw in a gasp.

"Dad! When did you redo the bathroom?" I squealed, the excitement uncontainable. If you'd seen the old bathroom, you'd understand.

"What?" I heard his response from directly below me. I forgot about washing my face and scrambled down the stairs to shower him with gratitude.

"The new bathroom! It's fantastic. What made you decide to _finally _renovate?"

"It was getting pretty old, it was just time I guess." Charlie answered, not looking me in the eye.

"Jane made you, didn't she?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Said I'd never get her to stay over if I didn't." he smiled sheepishly and I couldn't help but warm to it. I'd never spent much time with Jane but I knew she was important, and from the looks of things upstairs, she was a very good influence on my father.

"Here, have a seat." We settled ourselves around the kitchen table and I reached for the steaming cup in front of me.

"Listen Bella, I'm beyond thrilled that you're here to stay with me. I know what your mother is like, and I know you were left alone a lot while she committed herself to various high society circles and activities, or swanned off overseas with Allan."

"Alis_dair._" I corrected, emphasizing the obnoxious inflection that he always demanded, for some inexplicable reason. I think he thought it made him sound worldly and bourgeois.

"Hmmph right." That was Charlie-speak for 'what a wanky son of a bitch'. "Anyway, I'm a little concerned about some of the things Renee told me about your life in California. I need to hear everything from you though because I know how much she fabricates. So, what was going on with all those friends of yours? No bullshit."

"My friends got into drugs." I stated simply.

"And did you?" Dad was obviously trying to keep his temper from inflaming, his voice was very tight and his nostrils flared.

Pushing the edit button… "I tried pot a few times. But I know you did when you were younger so don't feed me the lecture ok? It was stupid, but most teenagers try it at some point. I'm not interested in any of that though. Why do you think I was so keen to get away?" This was pretty close to the truth. I had been eager to come here, but it certainly wasn't pot I was messing around with. And I certainly wouldn't turn down a few lines right now. But what good would it do for Charlie to stress about that? Its not like I had connections here anyway. I was done with all that…

"I'm disappointed to hear you caved to social pressures Bell, I thought you'd be above that. But I do appreciate your honesty. I know your not some little naïve lamb so I'm not going to treat you like one. When I was growing up my parents made a deal with me: if I was honest about what I was doing and I wasn't hurting myself or anyone else, they usually let me do it. Do those sound like reasonable terms to you?"

"Absolutely. I didn't come here to try and give you the run around."

"Glad to hear it. As you know I have a partner, and from time to time I will stay over at her house. I also have conferences to attend periodically. Will I be able to trust you while I'm out of the house?"

"You absolutely can, I promise. I'll let you know what's going on in my life Dad. In fact, it'll be a nice change to have someone who's interested."

"You're pretty mature for your age Bell."

"Like you said, I basically brought myself up."

Charlie grimaced at this. Shit.

"Sorry! I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. You were always there for me, it's just a shame I had to live with her for so long." I smiled at him apologetically, mentally shooting myself for making him feel bad.

"Alright. Well, serious talk over. I thought I'd take you out for dinner tonight. Our options are sorely lacking compared to California but there are a few decent places around."

"Actually, could we go to the diner? I miss that place."

Charlie beamed, obviously fucking stoked that I hadn't joined the atkins-vegan-macrobiotic-zone-raw food movement in all my years as a Valley girl.


	2. Stare Me Down

**Right. Here is the next chapter. **

**This is an adult space wherein the language is unsuitable for minors or heavily conservative people. **

**I don't own any of these recognizable characters.**

**Please read and err, hopefully enjoy?**

**Oh! And check out vnoirdottumblrdotcom to see Bella's school outfit. At least that's what you should find… me and computers, we got issues.**

**Cheers.**

-0-0-0-0-0-

I wasn't overly nervous on Sunday night. To be sure I wasn't thrilled at the idea of being the bright red dot on a grey canvas, but I was hoping that after the initial questioning and inquisitive glances the students of Forks High would return their attentions to themselves. Humans were an incredibly self-involved species after all, high school students especially.

When my alarm buzzed to life on Monday morning I swore in protest but maneuvered my way out of my luscious new bed. My spirits lifted as I soaked up the warm spray of the shower, massaging fragrant body wash into my skin. I would give thanks to Jane every time I used this shower. With its smooth tiled floor, ample square footage, removable head and robust water pressure it was literally a wet dream. I chuckled quietly as I remembered the old configuration; a tiny, slippery tub with barely enough room to turn around in and a DIY showerhead fixed above it with piss poor droplets struggling to make their descent.

I didn't fuss over what to wear any more than usual, settling on my Sgt Peppers t-shirt and black, paint-splattered shorts with stockings underneath. I slipped into my combat boots and grabbed my leather jacket to put on when I got outside. I took my hair out of the messy bun I'd fixed for the shower and let it fall around my shoulders as it pleased. I did my makeup quickly and then headed downstairs for coffee coffee coffee.

"Whoa, I haven't seen those old boots in years! How did you get your hands on them?" Charlie was standing at the kitchen counter chopping up banana for his breakfast, his eyes lightened with nostalgia as he took in my beat-up footwear.

"Renee tried to throw them out last year but I spotted them just in time. They've barely left my feet since."

Dad grinned, "You're mother used to wear them every day, with striped tights and these skirts that stuck out like ballerina tutus."

I sighed, "It must have been nice to know her when she wasn't such an anal retentive cow."

"Bella." Dad scowled.

"Oh come on, you know I'm right, you'd remember the transformation better than me!"

"Well…. alright you have a point. But you still shouldn't talk about her like that."

"Right, because you always give such glowing reviews."

"She's my ex-wife, I get a free pass." He grinned and gave a wink.

I sighed then went about making a pot of coffee. We sat down to have breakfast together but we both had our noses buried in different sections of the newspaper. He had sports and I had arts. We were very compatible.

"What time do I need to be at school?" I asked before scooping up the last of my cereal.

"Probably only half an hour early, it won't take long for you to sign in. Do you want me to come in with you?"

"That's ok, I can manage. Are you sure its no trouble to drop me off?"

"No trouble at all Bella, its on the way. But that reminds me; Jane had an idea that she asked me to run by you. Obviously you don't have any transport here at the moment and I'm sure we won't last long sharing the one car without things getting ugly, so Jane has offered up the old truck they use to make their deliveries."

"Are you serious?" Was he serious?

"Yeah, they've been looking to upgrade for a while and they wouldn't be missing out on much of a sale with the Chevy," he snickered, "Its not the prettiest piece on the road that's for sure. Jane was worried you'd be unimpressed but I assured her that when others see a heap of shit, my little girl sees _character." _Charlie teased in an indulgent voice.

I got excited, I was immediately picturing something old and rusty and grunty and spectacular.

"But how much would she be asking for it?" I had a fair amount of money in my account from my part time job back home and saved up allowance, but it still wouldn't be enough for a car I was sure.

"Nothing, she doesn't want anything for it. They'd just be leaving on the side of the road anyway. So I'll tell her you'll take it?"

"Hell yes. My god that's really lovely of her to offer." I was sort of shocked at such generosity from someone I barely knew.

"Well she's real keen for you two to become friends-not that she's trying to win you over with gifts or anything. She just wanted to help out."

"You've done well for yourself old man." I got up from the table and cleared away the mess, "And I'd like to be friends with her too."

He tried to keep his face neutral but I could see the happiness busting its way through.

-0-0-0-0-0-

My first day at school was much like I'd expected, but that didn't stop me from getting pissed off over all the staring. Forget inquisitive glances and fuck the generic questioning, all I was getting was blatant, unabashed _staring_. Do you know how hard it is to walk properly when everyone has his or her eyes fixed on you?

I get it; I'm the new girl, but seriously after the first few hours didn't people have anything better to look at? Its not like I had a bulge at my crotch or anything. I had let myself down with my optimism; you should always expect the very worst and that way there's room to be pleasantly surprised. I berated myself silently as I trekked down the hallway, not even bothering to mask my distress with a fake smile. If these kids weren't going to follow the basics of social etiquette then why the fuck should I? God I missed my Marlboros.

I was heading for my fourth period class, which was English with Mr. …Someone, and one halfwit actually stood in the middle of the fucking doorway, _staring_, and blocking me from entering the class. I sighed, fight or flight?

"Hey dude, I know the view is pretty spectacular but my hearing really isn't up to scratch so I'm guna need to get in the actual classroom if I wanna learn anything today." I raised my eyebrow expectantly.

"Oh um, fuck. Sorry. Sorry Bella. Bella right?"

"You said it. What's your name?"

"I'm Mike. Mike Newton. I'm on the football team!" His eyes widened as he added this, like it had suddenly dawned on him it would be the most inspired of things to mention. I even saw his chest rise up a fraction. It wasn't a bad chest to be fair, but the turquoise polo shirt was god-awful.

"That's cool man, but you're still in the doorway."

"Sorry Bella. Here you go." Football guy moved aside finally and I wasted no time stepping across the threshold. I would've cleared the bastard in a nanosecond if he didn't latch on to my forearm, anchoring me to the spot. I turned back to face him, really fucking close to loosing it when he smiled in this slow, creepy 'I ate a kitten for breakfast' kind of way.

"And you're right, the view is fucking spectacular." Mike gave me his version of a saucy wink. Which to clarify was just one big spastic blink.

"Uhh yeahhh I was being sarcastic dude," I replied slowly as I extracted my arm from his grip, did he actually just say those words? "But um, thanks… or whatever. I'm guna find a seat."

"Oh, there's a spare one next to me!" he rejoiced.

I scanned the room quickly and saw an open space next to a guy who I was definitely going to marry someday. Or at least have sex with at his nearest possible convenience. He was ridiculously attractive; all hair and eyes and sculpted bone structure. He was smirking at me, obviously catching the exchange between the Douche King and myself.

"Actually, sorry Mike, but I'm supposed to sit with that guy over there. Already been arranged, my dad's working out the dowry as we speak. Catch you later."

I marched down the aisle and came to a stop in front of Mr. Swan.

"Sorry, I needed an out. Is this seat actually free or are you waiting for someone?"

"All yours. And you have good instincts." He nodded in Mike's direction.

"His kind don't make it hard. Thanks." I plonked down next to him, nudging the desk on my way. But of course, I couldn't let my future husband see me all graceful and flawless now could I? No that would make it too easy, I groaned internally.

"So, you guys _have_ had a new student before right?" I turned my head towards him as I spoke, partly so he could hear me better, but mostly because I wanted to check if those cheekbones were for real.

"Yeah but the last one was back in the 1900s, so you'll have to forgive us for being out of practice." His complexion reddened a fraction after his comment, making me wonder if he was embarrassed by his joke.

I smiled warmly at him; "Ah it all makes sense now. I'm Bella."

"I'm Edward Cullen, its nice to meet you." In a very cute, very sweet and very formal gesture Edward stretched his hand across the table with obvious intention. I smiled at him again and slipped my hand alongside his. I paid special attention to his grip and was pleased to feel my hand being firmly shaken. Weak handshake, weak character.

See dad? I remembered.

"So on a scale from gritting your teeth and bearing it to running from the building and never looking back, where do you sit?" he was turned properly in his seat now to face me and his features were alight with animation, his earlier uncertainty had apparently vanished. "Unless you've bypassed those stages entirely and you're about ready to burn this place to the ground?"

"You underestimate my powers of perseverance dude. The only thing that really bugs me is the zombie stares."

"That must be very unnerving." He replied, his mouth curving into a grin.

"All I'm saying is a simple 'hello' would go down quite nicely with the gawking, I mean look at you with your handshake and everything."

I couldn't be sure but I _think_ Edward giggled. Whatever it was he covered it up quickly with a grunty cough.

"So where have you moved from Bella?"

"Aw. It so sweet of you to pretend that you don't already know."

He smiled widely, "Well I thought you'd probably had a morning full of people listing off the facts they know about you, in between stares that is. I figured you might appreciate the chance to fill someone in for a change."

"That's thoughtful. I moved from L.A."

"You lose a bet?"

I grinned and shook my head, "I feel like you all underestimate the quaint romance of a small town. Sure, L.A is exciting but its all pretty pedestrian. The same people, the same fads, the same sun. Forks is beautifully picturesque. It feels like a different world out here. Plus I wanted to spend some time with my dad."

Edward looked at me with interest, and I thought he was going to say something but then Mr. Someone rushed into the room.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a dispute with the copier. Everyone in their seats please, Claire that doesn't include Quil's lap."

I followed the gaze of the other students, except for Edward who was studiously heading his notebook page, and saw a couple laughing and tickling each other in a way that reeked of teenage infatuation. It looked sweet though, especially when Quil kissed Claire's cheek and shooed her off to her seat in the front row.

And with that class commenced. Mr. Someone didn't even seem to notice me, which was good in that I didn't have to endure my fourth Welcome to Forks High chorus. But I also had no idea what we were doing. Never one to squander my time, I seized the opportunity to take in Edward's appearance properly.

It was obvious that I had been wrong. This guy wasn't just attractive. He was actually beautiful. Which is a weird adjective to use for a guy, and its not intended to indicate effeminate beauty in any way. He was definitely boyish, and had a more defined masculinity in his facial features to the other guys I'd seen so far. Perhaps he'd had his growth spurt a bit earlier. He had berry stained lips, which he constantly pursed or twisted or smirked with. His eyebrows, bushy, stayed in a furrow throughout most of the class except for when our teacher made a questionable analysis of a character, then one of Edward's eyebrows would arch sardonically. His eyes got a mean intense look about them when he was jotting down notes, so far I couldn't tell if they were a bit hazel or full blown green. His jaw line was one of the most amazing things I'd ever seen. I mean people get surgery for that kind of magic! It was bold and structured without taking over his face. It remained perfectly in proportion to the rest of his features.

I don't even have the strength to go into detail about his hair.

"We're studying the Book Thief at the moment," he whispered into my ear, obviously noticing my vacant eyes and assuming it was because I was lost in the lecture and not his face.

"You can read over my notes if you like."

I smiled, because that's all I could seem to do in his presence, and craned my head to view his frantic scribble. I wouldn't be able to make head nor tale of that mess, but his offer was sweet. And I'd read the book before so once I stopped staring (oh my god I've become one of them!), and started listening to the teacher I caught up pretty fast.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"So do you wanna sit with me and my friends at lunch?"

"Thanks for the offer man, but some chick called Jessica asked me, or rather instructed me to sit with her today. She seems a bit hardcore, but I said I would and it was nice of her to offer."

He sniggered as he gathered up his books.

"What's funny?"

"Oh, you'll see. Though I doubt you'll find it funny. Sit with us tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Jessica was outside the door ready and willing to literally pull me into the lunch line. As soon as she led me to her table I knew what Edward had been talking about; Douche King was there and it would appear he had a seat saved for me.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**So…. **

**There was no momentous first meeting, nobody's hand tingled and they haven't yet promised to die for one another… Sorry if that's what you were looking for, I just wanted to keep it as realistic as possible. To date I have never experienced electric currents of the good variety with someone, maybe when I have I can write about it.  
>But I promise this <strong>_**is**_** going to get romantic, like you couldn't figure that out, she does like his jaw after all. **

**Thanks for reading, I think there may be some kind of button or something you can push to um, leave a …review?**

***bows head and scurries off*******


	3. He Smells Trouble

**Shall we take a little jaunt down Edward's POV?**

**Here's chapter three. I think he's got a struggle ahead of him…**

**NC-17, M, MA, AO, whatever you want to call it, the language isn't virtuous. Nor is the effect Bella has on Edward.**

**Enjoy these recognizable characters and settings that AREN'T MINE.**

**Cheers.**

-0-0-0-0-0-

The second she sat down next to me and I caught a wave of her heady scent I knew I was in trouble.

I'd watched and eavesdropped with great admiration as she not only handled Mike Newton and his pitiful attempts at flirtation, but also seemed completely unfazed by his attention. Most of the girls in our year were still straining themselves to make a mere blip on his radar. But this girl looked at him like he was a small child she'd rather not indulge.

As she walked towards me I took in her well-worn Beatles t-shirt, her _short_ shorts and her grungy boots and I felt my stomach swirl. She was absolutely stunning. Beautiful. Magnificent. She didn't look like any of the girls at this school. She had a more subtle air of self-assurance about her, owning her presence completely. And somehow, without coming across as a sullen bitch, it looked like she really couldn't give a shit if she made the right impression on her first day.

My body awakened with all those uncomfortable physical reactions to nervousness when she sat, with a nudge and a thud, in the seat to my left. Her face was beyond gorgeous. She was pale, like everyone else in Forks, but her complexion had the most amazing clarity to it; no blemishes, no freckles that I could spot. She wore a fair amount of eye makeup but it wasn't the pink glittery shit that Lauren Mallory was so fond of. It was artfully applied and in earthy tones that made her brown eyes look crazy deep. Her hair was chocolate too, and completely disheveled with strands of varying lengths tumbling across her shoulders and down her back.

Now might be a good time to point out that I am not gay. I just have a twin sister who never let my gender get in the way of discussions about style and makeup and even, dare I say it, _menstruation_. Yeah, that was a rough day. To prove I am in fact a red-blooded male, allow me to walk you through her body: her body was fucking spectacular. At 17 (presumably), she was already womanly. Her legs were toned and though they weren't extraordinarily long, they had great shape. She was carved into hourglass formation with hips and a tight waist, and then her rack… My god her rack, it was… ample. Her breasts jutted out proudly from her chest, her t-shirt was taut across them. She didn't have much in the ass department from what I could tell, believe me I was trying, but the sway of her hips when she walked gave an arousing illusion.

And that smell. What _was_ that? It was a rich fragrance but not overpowering, floral but not too sweet. To be completely honest, and I've never used this word before, it was fucking _sensual_. I made a note right then to trawl through every perfume in the goddamn department store to find out exactly what that bottle of intoxication was.

God, I hoped _I_ smelt ok. I'd fallen asleep on top of my books again last night and woke up late. I didn't have time to shower and I couldn't remember if I put on deodorant before school. That would be typical, scare the girl off with eau de hobo before I get the chance to tell her I'm actually quite hygienic.

As we spoke, her in an almost throaty voice that nearly put mine off balance, I could feel something, physically feel a pull to her. For the past five years I'd barely paid attention to anyone in class because I was always focused on the work, but she had me hanging on her every fucking word. She had this thing… this uniqueness about her that was effortless, unassuming. I cursed Mr. Berty as he called the class to attention. How dare he interrupt my time with Bella? I was so far from being done with our conversation. To that end, I suggested she sit with me at lunch but alas, Stanley had already beaten me to the punch.

-0-0-0-0-0-

With the small consolation of her promise to sit with me tomorrow I slouched off to my locker to deposit my English books. There was a war raging inside of me. I knew it was wrong, so fucking wrong to have this reaction to Bella. If I wasn't careful I was going to land myself in a heaping pile of steaming shit. The fantasies taking off in my head were so far-fetched and ludicrous, pathetic and hopelessly unattainable they actually had me sweating, squirming in my skin. I needed a reality check fucking pronto.

"Edward! There you are."

And there was Mel. Aka, reality check.

"Hey." I bent down to kiss her lips quickly. "How's your day going?"

_Think pure thoughts think pure thoughts._

"Ugh, got ripped up by Donovan for only finishing half my math but I'm all better for seeing you sweet boy." She wrapped her hand around mine and led us towards the cafeteria.

"I can help you with your math if you'd like?"

"Its fine, its more fun to count all the different shades of red he turns."

"Mel," I chastised, "Its our final year, you gotta keep on top of your grades for college."

"Yes Captain Sensible, I've heard the lecture. Can we just go eat lunch, I'm starving." She giggled and kissed my cheek.

I conceded and mussed her hair, laughing as she desperately tried to rectify the mess without a mirror. She hated having a strand out of place.

I was just about breathing normally again when Mel innocently asked,

"Have you had any classes with the new girl? She's in math with me."

_Be cool be cool be cool be cool._

"Yes, actually, I've got English with her. She's seems nice."

_Nice? Yeah, that's what you were thinking about before, ripping the 'nice' girl's short shorts off and violating her on your English desk._

Mel hadn't responded so I turned to see her reaction, fearful she'd seen through my façade. However, she wasn't even looking at me. She was looking over to her left and waving her arm frantically at Emily.

"Em!" she squealed.

The tall willowy girl with glowing skin made her way over to us in the lunch line; she had a huge smile on her face and bent to give Mel a hug.

"Hey! Aw its so good to see you again, I feel like I've been away for ages."

"I know what you mean," Mel smiled warmly at her. "How was the trip?"

"It was great, really great. The wedding was beautiful and my sister just looked so happy. They're off on their honeymoon now, I'm so jealous, did I tell you they were going to Ireland? Oh, hey Edward."

Emily didn't even wait for a reply before she and Mel launched into a big discussion about the ceremony, the drunken grandparents and the easy come easy goes bridesmaids while I let my eyes scan the room for…

There she was. Sitting at a table with Jess, Lauren, Mike and Eric looking utterly bored and jaw dropping hot. She was slumped in her chair, one leg bent up on the seat, gazing around the room seemingly ignoring the conversation of the table.

I stared at her for a full minute, hoping she'd feel the gaze and look at me.

She didn't.

And I sulked for the entire lunch period.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**Are you kidding me? Edward already has a girlfriend?**

**Thanks for reading and hopefully not despising.**


	4. Footing Found?

**Here's the next one. I know things are moving kind of slowly at the moment but after this they should be picking up, I do hope you'll stay around for it.**

**As always this is an ADULT SPACE. Right now its pretty much just the language that's offensive, but this story will earn its rating in due time. **

**I don't own these recognizable characters and settings, check my bank account if you don't believe me.**

**So enjoy! **

**Feedback would be cool…**

**Cheers.**

-0-0-0-0-0-

**EPOV**

With the school day over and a free afternoon before me I sent a text to Mel to see if she wanted to hang out and maybe make some progress with her math load. I got a reply within a minute of pressing send, only to discover that she had plans to go over to Emily's to look at the new clothes she'd bought in Portland. So much for that plan. I hadn't really expected her to say yes though, schoolwork wasn't the only thing Mel and I had come to a head about lately. It was a minute shift but I could feel things were just… different. While I could sense the effect I had no idea what the cause was; it wasn't like we'd been fighting, I don't think we've ever really fought. Nonetheless something was definitely off.

I suddenly saw Bella in my periphery as I walked to my car, she was heading towards the school gate on foot, and shamefully all thoughts of Mel disappeared.

On impulse I called out to her and jogged over.

"Hey Edward." She smiled as I came to a halt in front of her.

"Bella. You must be eager to get out of here if you're tackling the journey on foot."

"Oh dude," she grinned, it looked nice, "That's a shrewd assumption but I don't actually have any wheels yet. But Charlie's house isn't too far away and I like walking anyway."

"Well, I'd be happy to give you a ride if you didn't want to lug your bag all the way."

"Oh… well ok yeah, thanks. I raided the library at lunch so I am packing a rather heavy load. Sure it's not any trouble?"

"No trouble at all. But I thought I saw you in the cafeteria at lunch?" Until I hunched over in my seat and sulked, that is.

"I was there for as long as it took to graciously excuse myself."

"I see." I smirked.

"You should've seen their faces when I said I was going to the library during the lunch hour. I think they would've been less shocked if I told them I was off to purge my sandwich in the bathroom." She drawled in low voice.

I laughed at this, she was probably right. "You do realize there are people at this school who have been waiting their whole lives to join that table?"

"Well they're welcome to take my spot." She muttered. "Actually, that's mean. They were all very friendly towards me, I just think there were two opposing wavelengths at play there… but I shouldn't judge so swiftly should I?"

I didn't even have an answer for that. What kind of 17 year old says such mature, rational things?

We reached my car and I took her bag to place it on the backseat and then opened the passenger door.

"Shit. A gentleman. Cheers Edward."

I smiled, ridiculously pleased by her gratitude.

We headed out of the car park without talking, but Bella broke the silence when I turned up the volume on my stereo.

"Oooh I love Broken Bells, this album is geeeenius."

"Oh my god, I know I'm dying for them to bring out some new stuff." I enthused.

Smart, funny, beautiful AND she likes my music.

Uhhh not that any of that is important…. Mel Mel Mel Mel Mel Mel.

I vaguely considered the idea that it probably wasn't a great sign when you had to literally chant your girlfriend's name in your head to remind yourself not be so fascinated with another girl.

We spent the rest of the ride talking about music and in no time at all I was veering off into Bella's driveway.

"Well thanks for the ride man, it was cool of you to offer."

"I'm happy to do it. Got any plans for the afternoon?"

"I should probably start unpacking all my stuff, I only arrived over the weekend and my room still looks like it belongs to a My Little Pony obsessed 7 year old. That's how old I was when we left." She added, noting my confusion.

"Oh I see. We…?"

"My mother and myself."

I didn't miss the bitter twist to the word 'mother' but I figured it was a bit too early in our acquaintance to make further inquiries.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow." She said as she climbed out of the car.

"Yeah, see you then. Have... uhh, have a pleasant evening." Jeez, just add a 'dear' and I could've been her grandmother. Mental face palm.

Bella snorted and swung the door shut. Yup, she picked up on that too.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**BPOV**

I had plenty of time to myself before Charlie got home which I was grateful for. Not that dad wasn't cool, I just liked being alone. Plus I didn't quite have the energy yet for the First Day Debriefing. I loaded a playlist on my iPod and upped the volume as I prepared to tackle my luggage. I frowned as I scanned the room, there seemed to be an awful lot of stuff. More than I remember packing. Have the boxes multiplied?

I groaned aloud, I really _really_ couldn't be bothered doing this right now.

"Fuck it." I muttered, grabbing my smokes and sliding a lighter in my shorts. I boosted out the door and walked across our yard into the entrance of the forest. I only went in a couple of meters; the idea of getting lost in the woods did not turn me on. I slumped down on a fallen log and lit up. My frame sagged as I expelled my first puff and I felt my muscles ease up.

_All that tension can't have been good for your posture Bella_, I thought snidely. My charming mother had always made a point to tell me how much fatter I looked when I hunched.

But let's not dwell on that monster right now. Instead I let my mind rifle through the more notable points of the day. I'm going to be honest; these mostly consisted of Edward, Edward's hair, Edward's cute smile, the way one end of the school smelt like feet (oddly not the gym end), and Edward's pants. Jeans, dark blue, in the best place between tight and loose. I smiled daftly as I thought about him. It probably wasn't the most convenient time to form a crush on anyone but I think I picked a pretty good contender.

I did give some thought to the other students too; Jessica seemed like she could have an actual human being inside her somewhere but she spent the whole lunch period slagging off other kids. That kind of thing wasn't my buzz, which is why I bailed so quickly. Mike, Tyler and Eric couldn't have been more typically Teenage Boy if they tried and as their conversation was anchored deeply in Jockdom I didn't have anything to contribute. And Lauren was so fantastically dim that after I ran out of monosyllabic words we were done. So lunch hadn't been a raging success but I did run in to a nice guy called Luke at the library, he helped me find the Biography section.

I close my eyes as I focused on inhaling and exhaling, the nicotine tingling my tongue as I consumed my cigarette. I wondered what tomorrow would bring.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"You're in my seat."

The voice broke through my daydream and made my eyes roll. Seriously? That has got to be the oldest hazing trick in the book. Christ put a little imagination into it! I turned to raise an eyebrow at the intruder, finding the little blonde from English yesterday standing before me with her arms crossed and a would-be threatening expression on her face.

"As per the teacher's instruction." I replied calmly.

"No, I think the teacher probably told you to sit at this table, not in this chair. It's mine."

"You buy it?"

"No."

"Make it?"

"No."

"Save it from a bonfire?"

"No."

"Then sorry dude, I fail to see how it's your chair, or understand your weird fixation with it."

"You know, most new people wouldn't antagonize students like this. For all you know I could be the Queen Bee around this joint. Why aren't you scuttling off to the corner mumbling apologies?"

"I did apologize. I am so very sorry that you are so obsessed with this chair."

Whatever death stare she was trying to conjure broke into a grin almost instantly and she gave me a wink, "I'm just messing witchu girl. Wanted to see how big your balls were."

"They're fucking huge." I replied dryly.

"I noticed. I'm Claire."

"Bella."

She folded herself neatly into the chair beside me, flipping her bright blonde hair over her shoulder.

"It's nice to officially meet you. I guess we're partners. Please tell me you know your way around a Bunsen burner?"

I grinned, "It comes and goes. Science isn't exactly my passion."

"School isn't exactly my passion. I can't wait to finish. How's your week going?"

"It's kind of fun actually. The first day was weird but people have calmed down now."

"You just wait til the boys start asking you out, that's when shit will get real interesting." Claire smiled and started pulling out her books.

"How so?" I questioned, genuinely confused.

"Because there is such a limited selection, and the hoochies will not appreciate a fine piece like you joining the competition."

"Oh well I don't really plan on joining the competition…"

"Aw hun, you don't really have a choice in the matter. But don't worry, I'm already taken so you won't suffer a bitchfit from me."

"Yeah, Quil right? You guys were dry humping in English yesterday."

"That's him." She sighed dreamily. "We live out on the reservation but we come to school here, better classes."

Shit, that didn't say much for the Quileute education system.

By the end of class I had decided I really liked Claire. She had an extremely sunny disposition and called me 'hun' and 'girrrl' constantly, which would usually make me uncomfortable but somehow she pulled it off. Maybe through some scientific paradox the chilled climate of Forks was thawing me? Whatever was happening I felt a timid bud of optimism reaching a point of near fruition inside of me; perhaps I had been right about this place.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**So not overly exciting but I felt like she needed a few chapters to get her bearings before shit starts to take off. **

**I give you my word you'll have more Edward in the next chapter.**

**Cheers.**


	5. When I Met Her

**Hello. Back again. I've recently gotten a big event over and done with so I'm hoping I can say with complete honesty that the next update will come sooner.**

**These characters do not belong to me, and I am not writing for kids here. Don't say I didn't warn you.**

**If you're a visual person check out**

**www dot**

**photobucket dot**

**com slash viviennoir**

**to see some outfits, password at the bottom.**

**Cheers dudes**

-0-0-0-0-0-

BPOV

I walked with Claire into our English classroom but the second she saw Quil she was off, bouncing into his arms with a squeal. I smiled but didn't watch the Trojan poster couple for too long, Edward had suddenly appeared in my periphery and he was much more fun to look at. I took in his jeans, black today but the same perfect fit, paired with a black tshirt and a saddle brown, chunky knit cardigan overtop. His hair had been roughly swept all to one side and he looked like the cutest, hottest 17-year-old fucking hobo granddad. I couldn't stop the appreciative smile that spread across my face. He returned it, but I'm sure for very different reasons.

We settled into our seats and I was about to start talking when Mr. Someone, still don't know his name, strode into the room and announced we were to work silently on the essay questions he would be distributing momentarily. Since he had yet to acknowledge my presence in the class I hadn't received my copy of the novel. I had one at home, but as I hadn't made much progress on my unpacking yesterday it was still deeply buried.

I sighed and raised my hand.

"Yes?" Mr. Someone grunted.

"Yeah, um I don't have a book."

"You lost your novel?"

"No… I never... um I'm new. You haven't given me one yet."

"Who are you?"

"Bella Swan." Be more out of the loop, dude.

"Oh, Bella, why didn't you introduce yourself to the class yesterday?"

"Um because I would never voluntarily do that."

Sniggers sounded around me. Mr. Someone huffed. I hadn't meant to piss him off; it was such an obvious answer.

"Well, Bella, the floor is yours now. Why don't you introduce yourself while I go get you a book." He gave me a sickly sweet smile before he pushed out of the room.

Asshole.

I sighed again and looked over to Edward. He was barely containing his glee and made a gesture for me to begin my introduction. I shook my head; I had absolutely no intention of speaking to the class.

"Come on, no need to be shy Bella." Mike jeered from his seat across the other side of the room.

"Fuck off Mike, she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to." Claire snapped.

I surveyed the room and saw most of the class had gone back to their own business by now so I felt it was thoroughly unnecessary to call for their attention.

Edward leant over to talk to me in the short estimate of time we had left before Teach returned.

"How did the My Little Pony massacre go down?"

"It barely went. I didn't have the energy. But I'm 99% sure it'll still be there this afternoon so I'll let you know tomorrow."

-0-0-0-0-0-

We worked through the questions, most of the class blatantly ignoring Mr. Someone's call for silence, and soon enough the bell was ringing.

"So to lunch?" Edward suggested.

I nodded as I collected my stuff and walked with him to the cafeteria, stopping off at each of our lockers first. We got through the lunch line and then Edward lead me over to a table in the far corner that already seated three people.

"Hey guys, this is Bella." The group smiled and said hello as I took my seat. I recognized the dude as Luke the Library Helper, and was then introduced to Emily, a pretty-faced brunette, and lastly Mel. Edward's girlfriend.

I knew this day was too good to be true when I found that surprise $20 in my jean pocket.

Edward has a girlfriend. Mel is Edward's girlfriend. Mel is Edward's fucking _beautiful_ girlfriend.

I could almost feel myself shrink in stature as this information was processing.

It was an absolute fucking bummer. But it should not have come as a shock. Why the hell would this guy be single? In two days that I'd known him I'd already learned that he was both outrageously attractive and overwhelmingly cool. He was intelligent, and could be kind of intense but then he would say or do something goofy and laugh at himself. Team that with his James Dean good looks, and the meager pond size… Come on, its no cryptic crossword.

I took a few surreptitious deep breaths. It would all be ok. I hadn't any intention of acting on my little crush before this discovery so it actually doesn't make any difference now. Except for when I admire the goods there will most likely be a sour green worm of jealousy in my mouth. Like uber-sour, those real strong motherfuckers that make your face screw up and your eyes water and your nose sting and man, now I really want some sour worms.

But like I was saying. This is just fine. Really.

It's fine that he has a girlfriend with luscious ebony hair. It's fine that he has a girlfriend who is bubbly and smiles and looks really hot in her chic glasses. And it's totally, totally fine that while she picks at the same sandwich as her friend (obviously biffs), she casually rubs her hand against Edward's. It's alllll good.

I didn't want to be rude and silent for the duration of lunch so I did what I do best; I repressed my emotions and bargained with myself that I could do all the obsessing I wanted when I was alone in the woods this afternoon. Because there would most fucking definitely be a trip to the woods this afternoon.

I gave myself a small nod, sealing the deal with inner Bella, and focused on the group. And they were a nice bunch. Luke was quite quiet and gave off a geek vibe, but in a more introverted artistic genius kind of way than 'have you seen my headgear? I need it before I go to the lab and work on the robot I'm building.'

Emily and Mel were fascinating to me. They sat next to each other and talked constantly, with only one tray between them holding their drinks and the communal sandwich. I'd never had tight girlfriends so I couldn't really judge what was normal. How she could be in Edward's presence without mounting him baffled me though, and I didn't even approve of PDA. It wasn't just self-restraint however; aside from those few hand grazes the two of them really didn't interact until just before the bell rang. He stood up first and then softly kissed her cheek before they went in different directions for class. It was weird. Perhaps they had one of those really _deep _relationships where words were superfluous in the face of their _connection_.

I started making my way towards the dreaded gym and nearly jumped out of my skin when something smacked my ass.

"Hey bitch, we missed you at lunch today."

"Jess, fuck you gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry Bella." She laughed. "Seriously, what's with the abandonment?" Cue wounded face.

"Sorry man, Edward asked if I'd like to sit with him and his friends."

Jess sighed, "Edward Cullen, what a waste."

"Excuse me?"

Ex_cuse _me?

"He's so freaking hot but he spends all his time studying. He rarely shows up to parties. Plus what's with all the grandpa cardigans?"

I grinned; I was pretty on board with his cardigans. I'd already fantasized about wrapping myself up in one.

"There's nothing wrong with being studious."

"There is when you're that attractive. Good looks come with social obligation Bella; you have to spread it round y'know? Showcase it as often as possible. You can't just hide in the library and waste those bedroom eyes on textbooks. It's unforgivable."

_Ohhhh the bedroom eyes…._

"And to have an exclusive relationship? Is he fucking kidding me?

Despite myself, I couldn't help but laugh. Sure I didn't need the reminder but Jess's indignation was upping my mood.

"Anyway, you have to sit with us tomorrow. Its annoying watching the guys sulk because you and your tits aren't at the table."

"Dude! Way to make me feel uncomfortable."

"Don't be. I'm jealous."

"You shouldn't be. They're a fucking pain."

"Oh sure, that's why plastic surgeons have such a hard time making ends meet."

"Whatever man. Tell me about the gym teacher. How strict is he on attendance?"

"You sport retarded?" she smirked.

"Probably, but mainly I just don't see the allure of chasing balls around a court for an hour."

"Well the teacher is a woman and she's all for gender equality and 'anything men can do we can do better', so don't expect to skip class because of cramps or anything."

Awesome.

-0-0-0-0-0-

EPOV

Through some kind fate I happened to exit the school just after Bella. She was pacing through the car park and when I caught up to her I could tell she was pissed.

"Hey Bella, how was the rest of your day?"

She gave a heavy sigh before answering, "It was fine. I did not enjoy gym though, that teacher is a raging bitch."

"That is the general consensus." I chuckled, "I don't like her much either, she always picks on me for my below average athleticism."

"I just don't see why it's mandatory in school, shouldn't we be allowed to take care of physical education ourselves?"

"Well I don't know if you've heard but our great nation is currently suffering an obesity epidemic. I guess schools feel like they have to make some attempt."

"I guess you're right," She huffed and then looked at me with a disgruntled expression, "But let the record show I'm still not happy."

We were at my car now, so after she accepted my offer of dropping her home again I put her bag on the backseat and opened the passenger door for her. She said thanks softly before sliding in and hitting her head on the doorframe.

"Motherfucker!" she growled, clutching her head.

"Shit are you ok?"

"I'm fine it's fine it didn't happen just shut the fucking door."

I held in my laugh but couldn't quite restrain the smile. She was too cute.

-0-0-0-0-0-

After dropping off Bella I drove back into town to meet Luke for Book Club. Though I don't know if you can actually call it a club when there are only two members… Regardless, we always met up on Tuesdays at Left St Union to compare notes.

"Hey Edward, how's life man?" Luke's brother Max greeted me from behind the worn wooden counter. He ran the place and was definitely responsible for its offbeat, bohemian ambiance.

"It has its moments. How's the new guitar?"

"She's a beauty, been jamming nonstop!" he started jumping round air-guitaring. and making his nasty-ass dreads flop all over the place. "You need to come sometime. I got an old piano in my garage, though it may need some tuning first."

"I don't know if my playing is quite up to scratch, I'm still learning." I fucking sucked at piano.

"Its all good bro, we just play for fun. Luke's already out the back. Can I interest you in some of my new herbals?"

"Definitely not. Just a coffee thanks. Triple shot."

"Hard stuff brother. Bad day?"

"Just… trying at times." I mean Bella's jeans were really tight today, and every part of me had noticed.

"How so? You're not fighting with the little lady are you?"

"I don't see her enough to create any arguments."

"You could argue the fact you don't see each other enough?" he winked.

I sighed, "I dunno. Things are weird."

"You gotta fight sometimes, otherwise how would you ever get to have makeup sex?"

I made a weird noise and avoided looking into his eyes.

"Oh sorry dude, am I pushing the boundaries of coffee-giver coffee-drinker?"

"I'm wounded you would belittle our relationship like that Max. I was under the impression we meant more to each other?" I clutched my chest dramatically.

"Fuck off you little nerd, go have book sex with my bro."

I laughed as I made my way through the maze of musty books and mismatched tables and chairs. Luke was out in the garden. Which was kind of a dilapidated back lawn with old saggy couches and broken playground sets scattered all over the place.

"Hey man," I fell into the armchair and reached over to pluck the cigarette out of his hand.

"Careful Edward, you're not seeing Mel later are you?"

"Nah. I'm safe."

He smirked and grabbed the smoke back after I took a few puffs.

"So how come you're late?"

"Oh I was just dropping Bella home."

"Really? Again?"

"Well yeah, she doesn't have a car yet."

"I'm pretty sure her pins are in working order. _Good_ working order in fact. I wish she'd worn those shorts again today." He laughed but it wasn't in a lecherous way so I didn't feel the need to bust his face up. I almost snorted at the thought, as if I could _actually_ pull that off.

"Yeah you're not wrong there. But it's not like I have to go far out of my way, just trying to be helpful."

"Why? Do you get a gold star?" he raised his eyebrows at me, something in his expression looked very pointed.

"No… what's the big deal anyway?"

"It's just if I didn't know any better I would think you're trying to get in her good books."

"Well… I am. I think she's cool. And I'd like to be friends with her. I figure not being a real prick is the best way to go about it." I explained slowly as if Luke rode the special bus to school.

"That's very wise Edward," Max intoned as he came out with my coffee, "All that talk about girls liking guys that treat them like shit, it's a fallacy. Girls want to be spoilt and treated with respect."

"How the fuck would you know Max? You haven't had a girlfriend in years."

"Not that you know of dear little brother." Max tweaked Luke's cheek before giving him a swift slap.

"Fuck off mongrel." Luke muttered.

"Let's just discuss the book shall we?"

Luke gave me another strange look before pulling out his Pynchon.

Great, one more thing I can add to the list of Inexplicable Shit That's Happening To Me This Week.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

**Thanks for reading; if you wanna see Edward's look go to the photobucket address, password is wimhff**

**I realize some of you may be thoroughly repulsed by Edward's style. **

**You are wrong. **

**Bye!**


	6. Remember the Rules

**Well, I'm a big fat liar aren't I? To anyone who is reading this story I'm sorry it's been so long since the last update. I really have no excuse. I just haven't made a lot of time for it lately. I think I'm getting back into the groove though. So here it is. Rated for mature minds only. If you like it, please let me know. If you hate it, again let me know. But don't say it if it's too mean…**

**And there's another visual to go with this chapter. It's the same vnoir at tumblr address as chapter 2, hope you can see it. I still have no idea how to work that stuff.**

**I do not own any of the recognizable characters.**

**Here we go.**

**BPOV**

I pried my eyes open on Friday morning and groaned as the light assaulted them. Sleep was evading me worse than usual this week and every morning was a monumental struggle. As I became more alert I heard the sounds of Charlie preparing breakfast, chopping away loudly on his damn fruit board. I don't know how people can handle fruit so early in the morning, its too acidic. Except bananas. I do like my bananas.

I pulled myself out of bed and headed straight for the shower, the only consolation in this whole waking up and joining the world bullshit. Once my bathroom routine was complete I reentered my bedroom and grabbed the closest items I could find to dress into, loosing myself in thought. Which isn't a particularly smart idea when you're trying to ensure you cover all the right body parts.

This first week seemed to pass by remarkably quickly. One moment I was lurking round the halls not knowing my classroom from my asshole and now I had my timetable down pat, and had somehow made friends.

Not just _a_ friend. I mean like a fucking group of friends. This was a very welcome surprise. I had sort of pictured making one or two acquaintances in my classes that I could maybe catch up with on the weekends, but I'd wholeheartedly believed I would spend my year in Forks hanging with my dad and focusing on schoolwork. Of course it was still very early and perhaps not all of these people would remain my buddies for the entire year, but I was honestly fucking blown away at how warm and inviting they were. I'm not exactly a vivacious person and I have been told on more than one occasion that I have a very standoffish personality. But these dudes were cool. And it was by a fantastically eclectic bunch that I'd been accepted. When I first discovered that all the friends I'd made were not exactly friends with each other, I initially thought it would be a minefield to navigate, especially at lunchtime. But it ended up being simple: whomever I had fourth period with I would join in the cafeteria. No one seemed to mind or question my chop and change. And I did truly believe there was no real animosity between each group, there was no bullying in the hallway or blatant ostracism from what I could gather. Everyone has their own routine I guess and I was just fortunate that somehow I could slot in with each division. I mean I definitely had more trouble with Jessica's group in terms of stimulating conversation, but with Jess alone I had heaps of fun. She didn't take anything too seriously and was unabashedly frank about her perceived position at the top of the high school food chain. I liked people who were flawed and crazy as long as they were honest and owned it.

I laughed a little as I thought about Wednesday's lunch. I'd sat with Claire and Quil and their buddies Seth and Paul. They were rowdy as hell. Seriously it was the loudest lunch I'd ever experienced in my life; jokes, pizza eating contests, constant ribbing and this funny yelping, wolfy whistle thing they let off frequently. I kind of sat there and just soaked it all up. At this point I was like a spectator but they were all so carefree with such a contagious energy that I felt like whenever I chose to come out of my shell, they would dig it without question.

On Thursday I was back with Edward's group and since there were no more surprise announcements of courtship I actually had a good time. It was a completely different buzz to the rez kids but just as enjoyable. Mel was gregarious. Luke was enigmatic. Emily was bold. Edward was just fucking perfection. The boys were clearly academically focused, and while Mel and Emily were very bright they were also on the pulse of pop culture trends.

I let out a big sigh as I thought about Edward. I'd given myself a very stern pep talk in the woods after learning of his relationship and I had made peace with the fact the he was unavailable to me in certain capacities. In my head at least. The rest of me though… it was out of my control. Every nerve ending would spark and shatter whenever I was around him, and every day my reaction got stronger. By Wednesday afternoon I'd banned myself from looking at his jaw any more. By Thursday mid morning I was no longer allowed to study his hair. And by the time he dropped me home on Thursday afternoon I was forbidden to watch his hands. Never before have I experienced such a violent response to specific body parts on a member of the opposite sex. I didn't even know that a jaw could be such an excitable piece of bone structure until I met Edward. His hair was always in such a state it just reminded me how focused and determined he was, as his propensity to shove his hands into it increased tenfold when he was studying. It also showed that he didn't hold his appearance in high enough regard to fuss over it like other dudes. When I looked at it I just wanted to play with it. In bed. And his hands were big and boyish with stubby nails and patches of roughness, but their length, shape, and movements indicated a dexterity that I would love to test sometime. In bed.

I cleared my throat and put an end to my daydreaming. I shouldn't get myself worked up so early in the morning. In any case the most attractive thing about Edward and the most important thing to me was his friendship. He was unfailingly kind, brilliantly intelligent and beautifully unique. As long as I kept my head in the game and prevented any slip-ups I could have his friendship for keeps. It really was better this way. Black and white. Uncomplicated.

-0-0-0-0-0-

After an arduous day of classes I could do nothing but embrace the elation that blossomed in my chest. Two days free from enforced education. I'd actually snuck away at lunchtime today, choosing to hang out with the books in the library. I wasn't purposefully avoiding people but it had been an intense week- fantastic, but intense, and I had this theory that I may actually spontaneously combust if I don't fill my quota of quiet time in a week. The hour-long break was the perfect reprieve.

I started walking across the car park when Edward called out to me. I paused while he jogged over, his gait a little gauche. I'd been delighted to discover that Edward was adorably clumsy and in this case the weight of his bulging backpack certainly wouldn't help matters. He arrived at my side and gave me a wonderful smile before asking the routine question,

"Hey Bella, you want a ride home?"

I sighed inwardly, hating and loving the burden I placed on him.

"I really appreciate the offer man but you've done it every day this week. I don't like you going out of your way." This was a completely shallow argument. I was getting in that car with him.

"I didn't ask you if you wanted me to go out of my way. I asked if you wanted a ride. The two bear no connection to each other." He smirked with satisfaction.

"If you're really sure it's no trouble. I promise my car is almost ready." I'd mentioned the situation with Jane's old delivery truck earlier in the week, not wanting him to think I would take his generosity for granted.

We hopped in and I snatched up his iPod as per the routine. For as flustered as I became internally when I was around him, I was always so comfortable during our trips home. In a way it was easier to be right next to him than it was to be two meters away from him. Which was kind of fucked up, but as long as it kept me from vomiting my nerves in his car I would go with it. As I scrolled through the bands I made a snap decision to finally ask the question that had burned holes in my tongue every afternoon since I found out about Mel.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**EPOV**

I smiled to myself at Bella's music choice and got the car moving. I noticed her tapping her fingers more erratically than usual. I wanted to look at her as I was reversing but knowing me I'd probably nudge someone's car if I let my attention falter. She finally spoke as I drove us out onto the main road.

"So how long have you and Mel been together?"

"About three months." I responded. Wasn't expecting that.

"Cool."

"Yeah."

I looked over to her out of the corner of my eye. She was wiggling around a lot.

"Um so… I was wondering… well don't you ever need to give her a ride home?"

Bella crossed her legs as she spoke. She was wearing a short skirt today and in that new position more of her thigh was presented to me. She had black stockings on underneath. And they had rips.

Wait a minute; I think she just said something.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Don't you and Mel ever ride together?"

It really was a very nice skirt, fitted but not overly tight and colored to look like the midnight sky. And how did she manage to pull off ripped tights without it looking trashy?

Oh fuck what did she say? Something about a Mel?

_Bullet. I deserve a bullet._

"Sorry, the music distracted me. One more time?"

She gave me a questioning look and spoke in a clear, slow voice.

"Don't you and Mel ever ride home together?"

"Uh right, yeah no. She lives on the opposite side of town near Emily so they always drive together."

"Oh. Ok." She pursed her lips and I got the impression she wanted to say more.

"Everything ok?" I hinted, darting my eyes back and forth between her and the road.

"Yeah. Yeah… Well actually, I was just wondering if she minds you dropping me off everyday-uhh not that I expect you to do this everyday. My car is almost ready."

I grinned, "Yeah you mentioned that."

"Right. Well I was just curious. Not that she should mind or anything, we're not… I mean it was just a thought. The trees here are so pretty." She cut off her ramble abruptly and turned her face so far into the window I could only see the outer contour of her cheek.

I didn't know if I was supposed to respond to her diatribe. In any case I didn't know what I would say so I just upped the volume of The Smiths and let the awkwardness really sink in. I had mentioned my dropping Bella home to Mel but I don't know if she was really paying attention. Because she didn't answer me. Did that mean I had to tell her again?

For the first time all week Bella and I didn't speak until we both gave vague goodbyes in her driveway.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**BPOV**

I couldn't get out of that fucking car fast enough. I all but flew up my driveway to the front door and unlocked it in a flurry.

_Can't you just keep your big, weird mouth shut?_

Evidently not.

I guess Edward wasn't one to gush endlessly about his sweetheart. If I'm honest, that suited me fucking fine, but it did seem a bit strange. Almost like he didn't want to talk about her, which is weird right? I sighed heavily and once again felt thankful that it was Friday. I would have the whole weekend to regroup. Perhaps by Monday Jane would be finished with the Chevy and I would never have to endure a ride home again.

I would never have to endure a ride home again…

I hadn't thought about it like that. Without those afternoon trips my interaction with Edward would be reduced to rushed conversations in English, or the shared talk over lunch.

Well fuck me. I couldn't win.

I groaned as I walked over to the phone and hit the message button. One was from Charlie telling me he was out for dinner with Jane and then staying at her place tonight, and the other was from Claire demanding that I call her the second I got home. I punched in her number and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey Claire its Bella."

"Oh hey girrl! Listen, big plans tonight. We're taking you to your first First Beach party."

"Oh yeah?" I'd heard rumblings about the party today and I was going to ask Edward about it on the ride home but, well, shit got weird real quick and I'd completely forgotten.

"Fuck yeah. Quil and me will pick you up at 8.00pm. Dress hot babe."

I chuckled, "Cool, see you then."

With plans set I decided to call Charlie back.

"Forks Pharmacy, Charlie speaking."

"Hey dad its me."

"Hey kid, what's up?"

"I've been invited to a party tonight."

"Yeah? Whereabouts?"

"First Beach. My friends Quil and Claire are picking me up."

"The rez kids? That's fine Bell. Will they drop you off?"

"Shoot I didn't think to ask. Can I find out when they arrive and let you know? I'm sure there will be heaps of peeps coming back into town anyway."

"Alright but my phone is dead so I'll give you Jane's number, can you text her?"

"Sure. Lemme get a pen."

I jotted down her digits and said goodbye.

Now. Party.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**EPOV**

I had driven home quicker than normal, unease causing my foot to press down hard on the accelerator. Even though she hadn't exactly responded to the information about my afternoon drop offs, Mel wouldn't mind would she? Its not like I was choosing to drive Bella instead of her. For some reason I was pissed that Bella had bought it up this afternoon. For one thing, she completely ruined our usually effortless rapport, and for another I didn't like talking about Mel with her.

And I'm choosing to ignore the implications of that statement.

I was so confused. I grumbled nonsensically as I tried to rid myself of the seatbelt, struggling to a retarded degree. I slammed the car door behind me and stomped up the porch steps. I was headed for the kitchen dreaming of a cigarette when out of nowhere I got body checked.

"Oommmrrfpphh" I groaned, trying to suck in gulps of air. What the hell?

"Edward!"

I craned my head back to look at the creature that had just flown into my arms.

"Alice?"

"Yes you big dope its me!"

"What are you doing here?" I asked, stupefied, before wrapping my arms tighter around her waist and squeezing the shit out of her.

"Mmff-first weekend uhh I mm want- Edwar- ppfff- can't breathhh-" she panted, jabbing her fists into my shoulders.

"Sorry, it just feels like ages since I've seen you. You were saying?" I asked as I placed her on her feet again.

She straightened up and took a few more breaths before answering, "Well when you texted on Monday and told me you were back in school I figured you'd all be gearing up for a First beach party if the weather permitted, soooo I checked the weekend forecast and it looked promising, so then I called mom and begged her to shout me a ticket-"

"Gee what an uphill battle that must've been."

"Don't interrupt, so she got on it and I made her promise to keep it quiet, and then I spun some bullshit story to my tutor about needing Friday off and here I am! Its so good to see you."

"You too. You look good, you've dyed your hair?" I fluffed up the strands at the back of her head.

"Uh-huh." She beamed. Alice used to have the same reddish brown color as me but now it was jet black and glossy.

"Its looks really good, striking."

"Thank you. My horoscope said it was time to make a bold move in my life, and that very night when I was stargazing the sky was so inky I decided that had to be the color! So I made a trip to the salon and voila!"

That's right, my sister believes in horoscopes. And stargazing. Jesus.

"So you are going to the party tonight yes?"

"Uhhh well…. I was actually thinking of studying…"

"But now that I'm here and have travelled all this way you could think of nothing more you'd rather do than escort your sister to the party." She shot me The Look.

"You took the words right out of my mouth." I folded.

"And Mel will come too? How are you guys?" she linked her arm through mine and directed us towards the kitchen.

I scratched the back of my head, reluctant to talk about Mel so soon after the weirdness in the car, "Um we're ok."

"Just ok?"

"We're fine."

"That's even worse than 'ok'. Whatsup?"

"I don't know. Honestly, I can't really put my finger on it… it feels like we're not really close right now."

"I'm sorry to hear that bro. Maybe it's just a phase?" she lifted hopeful round eyes to meet wary pinched ones.

"Yeah, probably. I'll give her a call now and tell her about tonight, she'll be glad to see you."

"Who won't be?" she deadpanned as she skipped over to the fridge.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Alice what the fuck are you wearing?"

"Um fashion forward clothing? I know you get by just fine with granddad's old cardigans but some of us like to look good."

"Alice," I seethed, "It's see-through."

"Which is precisely why I've chosen to wear undergarments tonight. Relax Edward its not mesh."

"But everyone can see-wait, you go _without_ undergarments sometimes? Alice, get changed now. You know I read somewhere that burkas are really in this season."

She laughed and ruffled my hair. "Oh sweet Edward." She giggled again then trotted downstairs to catch mom before she headed out for dinner with her friends. You would think my father could bail on the hospital once in a while on a Friday night so he could take his wife out. But no, that wasn't how he operated.

Ha, nice pun.

I'd called Mel while I was getting changed and she seemed more than happy to join the party tonight. In fact I got the distinct impression that she had been planning to go with or without me. She was going to meet us there; Luke was swinging by my house soon to pick Alice and me up. It had crossed my mind to give Bella a text and see if she'd be interested in coming too but as we'd left things so awkward in the car I was more than a little hesitant to contact her.

I entered the kitchen just as mom was taking grilled cheese sandwiches off the element, the classic pre-party dinner. Carbs and cheese make for stodgy stomach lining, a mother's only hope.

"Neat surprise huh?" Mom beamed as I sat down next to Alice. "It was so hard keeping it a secret all week. Isn't her hair gorgeous! Now you make sure you look after your sister tonight alright Edward?" Mom warned, slipping off the ovenmits and smoothing down her dress.

"I'll try but as she insists on dressing like a Gossip Girl I may have a hard time of it."

"I think she looks cute."

"Its see-through!" _Why_ was no one getting that?

"Oh Edward it's not obscene and I saw something very similar in Vogue a few weeks ago, her inspiration I'm guessing. And in any case my telling her to change would be an exercise in futility." She winked at Alice.

Unbelievable.

"Anyway kids I must get going. Have fun and be sensible. I'll see you in the morning." She kissed our cheeks, cloaking us in the scent she has worn for as long as I can remember before heading down to the garage.

I caught Alice's frown as she watched our mother descend.

"God would it fucking kill him to take her out on a date once in a while? Or even just come home to hang out?"

I smiled wryly at how in tune our thoughts were.

"How's it been lately?" she questioned with her eyes cast downwards as she picked at her crust.

"Its fine Alice," I assured her between bites, "Mom's got heaps of hobbies and friends and they haven't even been fighting much lately."

They had been actually, a lot, but I didn't want Alice to worry. She already felt guilty for leaving mom here with the two boring men of the family. And tonight I wanted her to have fun, I mean I would prefer her to have it while fully covered up but as we had established, resistance is futile.

"So tell me about school. How is everyone? What's the goss? Who's had a senior year makeover? Who's joined a new and obscure social movement? Who's up who? Gimme."

I blinked at her onslaught of questions. "Alice you know I'm always the last to find out about that stuff. Haven't you been keeping in touch with any of your friends? And fyi, its who's up _whom._"

"And fyi, that's really obnoxious. I have been in touch but it's mostly just random comments on Facebook. I haven't talked properly with Claire in forever."

"Well you'll see everyone tonight, and they'll sure as hell be seeing all of you. You can get your fix then."

She laughed at my distress which I thought was very insensitive, but before I could make one last plea for her to change I heard Luke honking in the driveway.

-0-0-0-0-

**BPOV**

After inhaling a piece of toast for dinner I ran upstairs to get changed for the party. I marched over to my wardrobe and wrenched it open, knocking my head in the process.

"You bitch." I said icily to the wood, before pressing my palm to my forehead. I wasn't totally uncoordinated but I did have an odd tendency to walk into things, knock stuff over and I could _never_ get in or out of chairs gracefully. But it could be worse. At least I never face planted.

I changed into a black, zip front leather skirt and tucked my very faded Velvet Underground singlet into it loosely. I swapped my opaque stockings for sheer ones and merely shrugged when my rings snagged ladders in the thin nylon. I went through this nearly every time I put stockings on. Afterwards I would chant to myself 'rings off first rings off first'. But I would never heed my own advice and thus a vicious cycle was born.

In the bathroom I cleansed off the days makeup and moisturized before heading back into my room to apply a fresh face. I colored in my lids with liner and dark plum shadow, curled and coated my lashes then finished with a dusting of powder. I was too lazy to ever bother with proper foundation and I never liked the greasy feel of it.

Checking my watch I found I was running later than I had thought. Quil and Claire would be picking me up in 5 minutes. I shoved my feet into my battered boots not bothering to fix up the ties and shrugged into my black blazer. I ransacked my underwear drawer for my Marlboros and stashed them into my bag. Running down the stairs the last stop was Charlie's abundant liquor collection. He was a solid beer and whiskey drinker so he hadn't made much of a dent in his cellar. I decanted a fucking generous amount of gin into my flask, pilfered a bottle of red wine in case I felt like mixing it up, cause _that _always ends well Bella, and made a mental note to ask Quil to stop at the store so I could grab a bottle of tonic water.

I rushed out of the house and ran towards the waiting jeep before I remembered I hadn't locked the door. I swiveled around gracelessly and ran back to sort it, and returned to the car and jumped into the backseat. A familiar squiggle of excitement spread through my stomach. My body was anticipating the party ahead. Claire turned to me from the front a smiled warmly.

"Alright, time to get the new girl drunk."

"No complaints here." I grinned back. "Quil is it cool if we stop at the store, I gotta grab some tonic water."

"You have gin?" Claire's eyes lit up.

I tossed my flask at her, "Claire meet Bukowski, he's my special friend. Be gentle with him."

She snorted and screwed off the lid, taking an impressive gulp.

"Props Bizzle, I knew you wouldn't be a 'four raspberry cruisers and I'm on ma assss!' Kinda girl" Quil mocked in an appalling falsetto.

"I'm so excited Bella, tonight you're going to have a blast! And you can also meet Edward's sister. You'll adore her. She's actually quite similar to you; she mixed with everyone and just kind of did her own thing. She's really cool. She's the extroverted twin."

Twin?

I didn't even know Edward had a twin. He'd mentioned a sister that was studying in Seattle and I'd assumed she was older than him. After a whole week of riding home together I felt bad that I didn't know much about his family. Although I guess I had developed a habit of not asking too many questions about people's families lest the conversation turns to mine. No need to spread that joy.

"Awesome. Can't wait to meet her. So is Edward coming too? And Mel, Emily etc." I added quickly.

"Yep he'll be there with the rest, I texted Alice earlier."

Quil chortled over the steering wheel, "He wasn't keen but Alice is dragging him out. He probably wanted to stay in and do an essay outline or something." He guffawed at his joke, which probably wasn't far off the mark if I knew Edward. I smirked in the back. Cutest dude ever.

After stopping for the tonic I remembered something I'd been meaning to broach with my friend.

"Hey Claire, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Yes, I am the best she's ever had." Quil vowed solemnly. It earned him a slap to the back of his head.

"Pig. What was your question Bella?"

"Um. Ok. I don't mean to be rude, and you will seriously have to forgive my Karen moment here, but um… if you're from the Reservation, why are you white?"

I wasn't sure what reaction to prepare for; Claire was one of the happiest people I'd ever met in my life, to a disturbing degree in fact. But it was a pretty blunt, invasive question. To my relief she just laughed softly. I noticed Quil reach over for her hand before she replied, which made me question whether I really wanted to know the answer.

"You know you are the first person to ever ask me that to my face? My parents died when I was a baby and so their friends on the rez brought me up. My mom and dad were basically honorary Quileute and my godparents are part of the tribe. I've lived there my whole life."

"Oh Claire I shouldn't have pried."

"Don't you worry your pretty face about it girl. I appreciate you not just asking behind my back."

"I'm sorry… about... That fucking sucks."

Yes I know I'm an emotionally stunted fuckwit.

"Thanks Bella."

I passed her my flask again which she received with a bright smile, "Get that look off your face girrl, ain't no one gonna hit on you with a puss like that."

-0-0-0-0-0-

We pulled up to the beach after stopping to grab Paul and Seth, and I was really quite impressed with the setup. I could see a bonfire roaring just below the bank that was surrounded by countless bodies. It seemed the entire senior class was here and surely a large chunk from the rez school too. Up on the grass multiple picnic tables were laden with bottles, plastic cups, and bowls of chips and dip. Although on closer inspection it appeared they were actually bowls of dip with errant, broken chips stuck in the viscous mixture. Yummy. Large coolers of ice and beer were stationed underneath. The atmosphere was the complete antithesis of what I had experienced back home. The kids were happy, excited to be out and enjoying one another's company. When I used to party is was always at some mansion and everyone just wanted to fuck themselves over and compare whose overly privileged life sucked more. That was why I'd always stuck with Riley. He couldn't have been more laidback if he tried (possibly due to the near-constant high he was riding) and he had a vast knowledge of good books and music, which we had discussed at length in between… uh anyway focus on the now, Bella.

I had been at the party for about half an hour and was becoming fast friends with Alice Cullen. She was a bright spark, every bit as cool as Claire had painted her.

"Bella you must tell me where you got your boots! They're fabulous."

I looked down at the shoes in question that were now covered in sand.

"Oh they were my mom's, I saved them from an untimely demise."

"That makes me so jealous, my mom was really preppy when she was younger so I tend to turn up my nose at her sartorial relics."

"Well your dress makes up for it, gorgeous fabric." It was like a knit jersey dress but the sewing was loose and patchy, bearing many diamond shape holes that had a fine chiffon backing. It had a gold thread through it, which picked up the light beautifully.

"Thanks, I made it." Alice beamed.

"God I wish I could sew like that, I've broken more machines than I care to count. My version of clothes making is basically to cut and rip."

"I could teach you. Though my brother won't be happy about you complimenting this dress. He nearly shat his pants when he saw it."

"Really? I wouldn't think him to be so conservative." I mean yeah you could see the dim outline of her bra and where her stockings met her waist but she pulled it off well, her elfish body was hardly explicit.

"Its probably just the twin thing, on any other non-related girl I'm sure he'd have a very different reaction in his pants because I know this dress is hot. But with me he gets protective. In a very passive way mind you," she snorted, "Poor thing couldn't beat a dead fly."

"Compassion?"

"Flailing limbs. It's quite hysterical to see. Do you spend much time with him?"

"Um sort of. Well he's in my English class and I sat with his group at lunch a couple of times. And he's also been a generous chauffeur this past week."

"Really?" she cocked a brow and grinned.

"Um yeah, it's just my car… well it's not mine. Not yet. Soon. My dad's girlfriend has this truck… uhh long garbled story short, he's been helping me out while I wait for my ride."

"How very kind of him." she grinned. It could have just been the firelight but it looked like her eyes were twinkling.

"Uh-huh. Do you like gin?" I held up Bukowski and commended myself on the segue.

"Sure, thanks."

I fought with myself as I made her a drink. I knew it would be safer to move away from Edward topics completely, but what can I say I was obsessed with the fucker.

"So Claire said Edward was coming tonight?"

Alice nodded while she swallowed her sip, "Yeah he's…" She scanned the bank, "Yeah, there he is. Edward!" she called out and he lifted his head in her direction. His lips stretched into a smile when he saw her and he made his way over, girlfriend in tow. I gave her a proper up and down as they moved closer since I'd previously only really seen her sitting behind a lunch table. I took in her tall, lithe figure, long legs and perfect tits that were much more in proportion than mine. Her hair was perfect, poker straight and shiny. When she turned around to wave at whoever called out behind her, I saw that her hips curved to frame a perfect perky ass too…

_What was that Bukowski? You think it's time to take a giant fucking swig of gin? I couldn't agree more, where would I be without you?_

"There you are Edward," Alice greeted, "Hey Mel! Its good to see you again." They gave each other a hug.

"You too Alice, how' s school?"

The two of them launched into a big discussion about Alice's course that ordinarily I would have been interested in hearing, but at this moment I couldn't help but stay in my head and fixate on the perfect symmetry that was Mel's body. It pissed me off that I was feeling so envious; I'd put three years of stubborn, determined work into accepting my looks despite my mother's best efforts and what did it matter anyway? So Edward had a Victoria's Secret model for a girlfriend, it didn't make any difference, its not like I was trying to compete with her. And he was a great dude; he deserved to tap something hot.

I looked over to him and saw he was chatting to Luke, who had appeared without my noticing, about a comic book with hilarious intensity so instead of trying to engage in a topic I knew fuck all about I edged away from the group and turned to light a cigarette.

"Hey Bella, enjoying your first First beach party?" Mike's sudden presence gave me a shock. Am I just really unobservant? How do people keep appearing?

"Yeah sure, its fun so far. How often do you guys do this?"

"Well it's tradition to do it the first weekend back in school, and from then on whenever the weather allows it. You look nice tonight."

"Oh... Thanks."

He had one hand around a beer, the other deep in his pocket and he was rocking back and forth on his heels. He was shitfaced. And obviously feeling bold.

"Yeah, I mean that skirt… Wow." he whistled and did his wink/blink. I was confused, had someone told him that that thing was sexy?

"Oh. Uhh…that's… um, thanks…" Whoops, forgot that teenage boys plus beer plus a nighttime setting always, always equal tactless flirting.

"Aw fuck it, I'm sorry Bella. I keep making an ass of myself in front of you. You're just really hot, um I mean pretty and I'm trying to be all cool. I'm failing aren't I?"

"Dismally." I smiled.

"I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. Obviously I'm going to have to up my game for you."

"Can I just be straight up with you dude? I'm not really looking to be in any 'game' right now. I think it'd be cool if we can just be friends."

I surveyed me with a boozy quizzical look for a moment before he smiled wryly.

"Alright Bella. I hear ya. I can't promise I'll stop the lewd comments though, it's kind of a problem I have." And then he just grinned like a little boy as he backed away and I didn't feel any threat from him at all. I looked back at the group I'd strayed from and saw they were all still deeply conversing. I didn't want to intrude as Alice was obviously catching up with her friends. I didn't have the energy to make small talk with anyone else. I sighed.

My feet lead me down closer to the water. I always ran into this problem at parties. I'd get excited and feel good and optimistic about the night, but after the first hour I'd remember that I'm just this social asstard who can't really deal with people en masse. Furthermore, I don't even enjoy trying. With some it's easy, people like Alice take all the work out of the equation. But anyone that doesn't offer something interesting to grasp onto after five minutes of conversation, I'm out. As someone who's kind of reserved and I guess for lack of a better word shy, I'm actually reasonably good at small talk. I hate it, but after years of deflecting the attention off myself I've grown accustomed to firing off questions in a bid to keep someone talking. I can't stand silences, and the resulting involuntary verbal atrocities that they bring out in me. So as long as I keep the stream constant, I can walk away unscathed. But it's exhausting and fake.

Tonight was no different, despite a completely different crowd and a much more user-friendly environment. Claire and Quil had scuttled off to the jeep about twenty minutes after we arrived and I had no desire to stumble upon whatever position they were in. Jess was with her posse and they were in the middle of a heated drinking game. And now with Alice and Edward engaged in conversation I was shit out of candidates. My only option at this point was to extract myself from the crowd so I wouldn't be spotted and approached.

I plonked down on the sand and rooted around in my bag for my iPod, cursing myself for feeling this way about perfectly nice people. Sometimes I found myself utterly ridiculous.

I enjoyed three songs without interruption, until I felt a presence at my side. I tensed and pulled out my headphones.

"Sorry to bother you, everything alright?" Alice asked with a warm smile.

"Hey man, yeah I'm fine, just wanted a break from the group and the music retarded asshole who took over the stereo. Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

"Nothing noteworthy. I see you're a music snob just like my brother, what are you listening too?

"The Stooges. You into them?"

She sat herself down next to me, nodding, "In a big fucking way. Over the summer Edward sat me down and forced me to listen to an entire album, twice without stopping, and now I wanna be Iggy's dog."

I chuckled, "That's one of my favorites. So do you miss all of this?" I waved my hand behind me.

"Actually I kind of do. I mean my course is amazing and I totally feel like it's the right thing for me to be doing. I got early acceptance, that's why I'm not doing senior year." She explained.

"Oh it makes more sense now."

"Yeah, I was stoked at the time… but sometimes I wonder if I was totally ready for it. I miss my friends and the sort of bubble of protection that high school naivety offers… I mean when you're still at school you imagine like, the most amazing things about life after it. And it is amazing, but absolutely not in the way you expected it to be. It's hard as fuck actually. Maybe cause I'm really close with my mom and Edward. I hate being away from them. Our family situation is… not ideal."

This set off a bell in my head. I had blindly imagined Edward's family being perfect.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I can imagine it's hard to be apart from them. But overall you are happy where you are?"

Alice seemed to be in a sort of daze, compliments of my infamously strong alcohol-to-mixer ratio I guessed. She shook her head then turned to me with a brighter expression,

"Oh yeah. Shit listen to me, it's the gin. Thanks again by the way. I've just had a week from hell, which is part of the reason why I wanted to come home. Not everyone is peaches and cream at school; there are a couple of girls who have made life difficult for me actually. I guess I'm not exactly used to people not liking me for any apparent reason…" she cringed, "Ew that sounded weird, I just meant that I've never had trouble fitting in. Until now." She shook her head, "I think its just all catching up to me. These last few weeks have been exhausting in more ways than one. But truly, life in Seattle is really good. And all in all I wouldn't trade it to be back here. I think I've just learned more in my first month of this course than I did in my entire schooling career, and it can be a little overwhelming. I guess I'm realizing how sheltered my life here was."

"Sheltered isn't necessarily a bad thing, and from the sounds of it you've y'know, adapted and sussed out your new surroundings- the good and the bad. I'm sure once this adjustment period is over you'll be golden. And you're fucking talented so I'm assuming you're kicking ass at school, which is why those cunts are having a hard time being human towards you."

She smiled shyly, which I took as a big fat 'hell yes.'

"Want another drink?" I offered.

"I think after that spiel I'll decline. I hate how my mouth runs off on me sometimes. Especially in front of you. I mean I don't know you that well but you seem so calm and chilled."

I snorted at her ignorance, "Oh Alice let me assure you it'd be wicked scary if I started talking about shit that bothers me." I opened up my pack for her and proffered my lighter, "Care for a smoke?"

She nodded eagerly and lit up. We sat side-by-side smoking and leaning our heads together so we could each have an ear bud. I found myself feeling sad that she would be leaving for Seattle so soon. I was already attached Alice. What is it with the fucking Cullen twins?

-0-0-0-0-0-

After an hour ran away from us we figured it would be polite to make reappearance at the party. When we got to the bank I realized I'd forgotten my cup down by the water so I left Alice at the park bench and said I'd be back. I went over to the tables to grab a cup but I hadn't trusted the partygoers to keep their sticky fingers to themselves so instead of adding my booze to the collection I'd stashed it in my handbag. I grabbed my phone as I was rifling. I'd sent Jane a text about getting back home and she had replied,

'_Your dad says that's fine sweetie. Have fun tonight, but if I may issue a warning: those rez kids like to steal the Elders' moonshine for parties, and sure its all fun and games at the beginning but unless you want to spend the rest of the night getting friendly with the toilet bowl Just Say No. I speak from experience.'_

She's quite a catch old man, I thought fondly.

I was grinning as I poured another drink and as I turned back to face the crowd I saw Edward walking towards me, a lovely smile lighting up his lovely face.

"Hey Bella, where have you been?"

"I was just down by the water with your sister actually. Having a good night?"

"Yeah its ok. To be honest I don't really come out to these parties much. I didn't think this would be your thing?"

"Hey I'm the fucking cheerleader for teenage debauchery. And I like the beach setting; odd as it sounds we never had beach parties back home."

"How is that possible?" he asked with amusement.

"Uh well my friends all lived on pretty palatial grounds, we didn't really need to go anywhere." Plus you can kind of get arrested for communal coke lines in public. "I am severely disappointed with the music selection though."

"I should have warned you." he started to smile but then it faltered and his face got an edgy look to it.

"Um, you know I-I was going to mention the party to you afterschool but um... I forgot." He rubbed his hand down the back of his neck, visibly uncomfortable.

Wonder why that is.

"Oh yeah um, me too. But Claire called and said she was picking me up. Her and Quil promised to babysit me but that was shot to shit about three hours ago. Your sister is mad cool though."

"Yeah? I'm glad you're getting to know her. I'm sorry, I feel like I should have been more helpful tonight."

"Oh, no don't worry about it dude."

There was an awkward silence and I was just about to open my mouth to say god knows what, when Edward saved me.

"I like your top, they're one of my favorites."

"Really?" I beamed at him, pulling at my singlet and looking down at the faded graphics, "Thanks." I was all ready to begin an epic discussion about the band when I saw Mel approaching us.

"Oops, looks like you've been gone too long." I tried to joke. It was painful.

He looked confused, "Wha-"

"Edward! There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere sweet boy. Listen, I know I said I'd stay with you tonight but Em has had a bit too much to drink and I wanna make sure she gets home ok. Luke's guna drop us back to hers, you don't mind if I go with her do you?" She actually pouted. Jesus, she had him wrapped around the proverbial didn't she.

"Of course, don't worry about it. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Mel's face was blank.

"We were going to go over your math work remember?" Edward had intense study face on. It was funny and hot at the same time.

"Riiight. Um, lemme call you tomorrow and we'll finalize ok?"

He let out a sigh that told me Mel would for sure be blowing off their study date.

"Ok. Get home safe, talk to you tomorrow." They kissed each other very briefly on the lips before Mel went careening off in the opposite direction. She must be crazy; I would not give up a sleepover at Edward's for anything. I mean sure I'd get my friend home first but as soon as she was passed out I would be over at Edward's in the blink of an eye. Note to self: Would not make a good bestie.

Edward turned back to me but his eyes weren't really focused on anything.

"Shall we go back over to Alice?" I asked tentatively, worried that he would be all bummed about Mel's departure and want to unload his girlfriend troubles on me. That was what his sister was for, not the girl who wanted to rip his pants open with her teeth. But that's another story.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**EPOV**

It was well after three am. I was pacing on my balcony. My insides were churning. My jaw was tight. My frown was immobile. The whole evening was one colossal mindfuck.

First of all, Bella completely floored me with her outfit. Her skirt should have been illegal, so tight, so short, so_ leather_. Her singlet wasn't overly revealing but loose fitting enough that I caught teasing glimpses of her cleavage whenever she bent slightly or folded her arms. Add to that the fact that the singlet itself happened to promote one of my favorite musicians of all time… it was like her sense of style was cultivated deliberately to hurt me. I'd tried to get Mel on to Lou Reed numerous times but she'd proclaimed him weird and depressing.

It also hadn't escaped my notice that Bella was sporting the ripped stockings again but the fabric was more see-through than the ones she'd had on at school. Every sliver of alabaster flesh that was exposed had taunted me, and I wanted to tear the things clear off her body. With my teeth. Which lead me to my next dilemma. How fucking wrong was it to think this way about Bella when my fucking girlfriend was right next to me? Oh, and to round things off nicely in threes, what _about_ Mel? What was up with her early disappearance? I'd seen Emily and talked to her and she didn't seem that drunk to me. Was Mel trying to avoid our sleepover? Sure it wasn't the most romantic of offers; she was going to slip in with me and then Alice had promised to take mom out early the next morning so we wouldn't get caught. My parents probably wouldn't care but I knew Mel wasn't going to be honest about it with hers and my mom would never cover for us like that. I gripped the railing before remembering the half pack of smokes Luke had left for me. I crept into my dark room, banged my foot against the desk and silently swore. I found the pack and went back outside.

I was definitely annoyed with Mel's behavior but I wasn't completely guilt-free either. The way I had been lusting after Bella this week was unacceptable. Part of me just wanted to employ the 'I'm a 17 year old guy I'm supposed riddled with crazy hormones' excuse. But it didn't really fit my personality. I wasn't that guy. I hardly ever felt like a teenager. I hadn't paid much attention to girls at all until I asked Mel out. I wasn't impetuous and rash, if anything I was too analytical. But right now I couldn't have felt more like some pathetic douche bag adolescent who didn't care about people's feelings and just wanted to self-satisfy.

Man did I want to self-satisfy with Bella.

Perhaps it was just the novelty factor? That's a valid argument right? Like when a new burger comes out and its so good that you want to have it all the time… but then eventually you get sick of the new flavor and invariably you will return to your original preference.

_Did I just compare Mel and Bella to greasy meat sandwiches?_

I shook my head. That probably wasn't the right metaphor.

Perhaps it had something to do with Bella and I getting on so well from the very beginning. Maybe I just wasn't used to the feeling of wanting a beautiful girl to hang out and be friends with, and my mind was getting confused and telling me it meant more. I mean the only other girl I was really, really close with and shared common interests was Alice. Of course it's going to be different when the girl is not related, yes?

I lit another smoke and took in a few deep drags before closing my eyes, desperate to reach some sort of conclusion.

I knew I wasn't ready to end what I had with Mel just because I found another girl attractive. I was certain of that. But was that wrong? Was it immoral? How were you supposed to tell? It's different when it's like a celebrity crush or something because those are completely unattainable and shallow. But if it's a real person that you see and talk to every day… there must be rules about that.

I did have one other tiny, disgusting suspicion lurking in the dark, depraved corners of my mind that perhaps I was just sexually frustrated. My relationship with Mel had never been very physical. I was fine with that at first; I didn't expect her to fall on my dick the minute we started dating. But I couldn't deny that after three months I was just maybe slightly disappointed that we hadn't progressed past kissing. Not that I would ever pressure Mel into anything she wasn't ready for, and I already felt like a wicked asshole for wishing she'd change her mind soon.

Ok I had kind of wished she would change her mind tonight.

But that clearly didn't happen. What bothered me most was that if she was scared about that stuff, she wasn't talking to me about it. She was just avoiding the situation altogether.

I saw a glimmer of hope in that observation, not that I was proud of it. Here I was suffering from severe pent up sexual energy and Bella comes cruising in like the most delicious, alluring sex creature ever. And it was completely effortless. She wasn't flirty she wasn't cheap looking. She had a strong undercurrent of sexuality about her that was torturous but totally unassuming.

And I was far too susceptible. Its like beer goggles. Blue ball goggles.

I stubbed out the butt with new, albeit weak resolve. I just needed to stop being such a greedy asshole and focus more on Mel. Who knows, maybe this was partly my fault. Maybe I hadn't been attentive enough lately. Maybe Mel thought I was the one pulling away.

And maybe I just needed to stop starting every sentence with 'maybe'. I didn't care for uncertainty.

I was lucky to have a girlfriend who was sweet and gorgeous, and a good person. I would repeat that to myself every day if I had to. I would stop fixating on Bella and just focus on being her friend. I would not fuck this up.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**These kids have some inappropriate tooth urges no?**

**Hope you liked. Check the outfit.**

**Cheers.**


	7. You Jump I Won't, Thanks

**I'm not the best at updating it would seem…**

**Thanks to everyone who keeps reading this story. And an EXPLOSIVE thanks to my two reviewers, you are sexy.**

**I do not own Twilight. **

**Enjoy.**

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BPOV

Despite the late hour that my body finally allowed me sleep, I woke up early on Saturday. 5.56 early to be exact, which was somewhat unnerving as I'd previously only seen this time of day when I hadn't gone to bed yet. I idly wondered if I should get up and fucking catch the worm, but as I nestled deeper under my heavenly blankets that thought was quickly dispelled. What the hell would I do with a worm anyway? I didn't drift off again however, as my brain was already steps ahead in the alertness business, so I instead ran through the highs and lows of the party last night.

The biggest highlight was definitely Alice Cullen. That girl had mad onion layers; in all my life I've never met someone so three-dimensional. I'd watched her round the entire party finding something to talk about with everyone. She was light and ebullient, a quick talker with a great laugh. But then she'd flip a switch and be fucking real, thoughtful and endearingly strange (she'd read my palm with grave seriousness and then suggested I let her cleanse my chakras. I thought she was kidding and laughed in her face), and then flip again and we'd be talking about the best brand of liquid eyeliner, _flip_ she'd skull a beer, _flip_ she'd discuss fabrics with an unrestrained passion, _flip_ she'd sing aloud to her own tune, _flip_ she'd deliver poignant, emo rant… which by the way I totally dug because I never trusted people who were happy all the time.

Watching her and Edward together was almost sickeningly heartwarming. He blatantly adored her and while it would seem like she wore the boss pants most of the time, it was clear that she depended on him for dear life. After Mel's bizarre departure Edward and I spent the rest of the evening trailing behind Alice talking Glam Rock while she charmed people stupid.

The most hysterical moment of the night was, hands down, Jessica's solo dance routine. I don't know how much tequila it took to fuel that impulse but I was one of the funniest things I have ever fucking seen: glazed eyes, loose hips and a dizzying head movement that would've touched Willow Smith's heart.

In actual fact there was only one disappointment of the night, and it was me. It was probably a miscalculation on my part but I'd kind of hoped I'd be different here, that I wouldn't be so reclusive, that I could transform into this dazzling social butterfly and entertain effortlessly all night. But as it were I was dismally consistent. If Alice hadn't been at the party I would have spent hours sitting alone on the beach. Doesn't that seem pathetic?

"Pathetic." I agreed in a mumble. I shook my head and decided to leave the sanctuary. I rolled out and grabbed my robe, slipping it around my body before I went to the window to peak outside. No car, Charlie must not be home yet. I tried to make a plan for the day and after five seconds it finally, fully dawned on me just how limited my options were. It didn't frustrate me however, as I optimistically decided I could just adapt into being one of those rose smelling-stroll taking-tree hugging types of people. Appreciate the goddamn small pleasures or whatever, starting with coffee.

I sloped down the stairs to get a pot started and then heaved my lazy body back up to shower. After I'd used probably 95% of the hot water I stepped carefully on to the damp tiles and started toweling off. I caught a glimpse of myself in the patches of mirror that weren't fogged and had to do a double take when I saw Casper's body in the reflection. Tell me I'm not getting whiter, please god jesus moses and rudolph. I scuttled back to my room to see better and there is was; my body completely stripped of fucking melanin. I was a GHOST. I grumbled and swore as I covered my pasty body, trying to comfort myself by naming aloud all the other really white kids at school.

Forks, that's one.

I was just slipping my chucks on when I heard dad return. I found him serving up some coffee with the paper tucked under his arm.

"Morning Bell. How was your party?"

"Do I look sickly white?" I attacked immediately.

He took in my face and neck and then shook his head, "Not really sickly. I mean you ain't gonna model for Hawaiian Tropic anytime soon but it suits you, y'know? You've always been that way. Are you worried about it? Because it could be a symptom of anemia, have you been feeling tired or weak?"

"No," I replied in an annoyed voice, wishing this transparent body could be fixed with a few pills.

He laughed at my despair, "Kid you're a stunner, I wouldn't worry about it."

"Thanks dude," I grinned shyly.

"You're welcome _dude._ Now tell me about the party."

"Oh it was good! I loved going back to First Beach, it's been so long."

"And how was the crowd? Not too rowdy?"

"It was plenty rowdy," I laughed, "But lots of fun. How was your night?"

"It was great," he enthused, "Jane has this new Fleetwood Mac DVD which we've been meaning to watch for a while. You know that group practically dj'd my youth. 'Looking out for looorrvvvee hhuuhh huuhh'" he exploded into a throaty croon and handicapped air-guitaring.

I grinned at his excitement and bright eyes; it was cool that the hippie in my dad still lived on. But while that was a good song I didn't quite feel the need to have a father daughter sing off in the kitchen. I laughed at the thought as I reached for my travel mug.

"So what are your plans for the rest of the weekend?"

"Well I was wondering if I could maybe borrow the car for the morning? I want to go see the beach in the daylight."

"Sure, you can have it for the day, I've got some jobs to do around the house."

"Cool thanks."

"You want some breakfast before you head out?"

"Nah, I could go for a little hair of the dog though?"

"Not the moonshine?" he winced.

"No way, heeded Jane's warning. Should someone her size even be allowed alcohol?"

"Please don't take it away form her, a man needs his woman nice and docile every now and then."

"Wise words to pass on to my husband one day."

"I'm chock full of them. But seriously, you want some pancakes?"

"No thanks I'll just take my coffee, I might grab something after the beach. Catch you later pops."

"Drive carefully Bell."

We left the kitchen in separate directions and I was just at the door when my body jolted in shock as dad's voice boomed again,

'BIG BIG LOOORVVEE OOUHH HUUU'

-0-0-0-0-

I smiled as I pulled into the beach lot. It was the perfect day for a walk. Definitely not warm but the gentle rays that were pushing through the clouds kept the deathly chill off. I loved the beaches around here, much more so than anything we had back in LA. For one thing, if memory serves, First Beach was rarely buzzing with activity so one didn't have to dodge beach balls or footballs or sleaze balls as they strolled along the sand.

I drained the last of my coffee then hopped out of the car. I double-checked the lock before slipping the keys into my pocket and striding across the lot. When I got to the bank and saw the place was absolutely deserted I smiled and toed off my sneakers. As I got down closer to the water I felt the wind hitting me harder so I zipped my hoodie right up to my neck before beginning my charge. I powered down to the end of the strip where the rock pools were, the soft sand giving my calves a decent workout. I turned to take in the full view of the seascape. It really was breathtaking; I loved the demure shades of mauve and grey. An overcast sky always made me feel like I was in some mystical bubble, a secret pocket of the world where harsh realities, and sunlight, couldn't harm you. Although after this mornings meltdown I wouldn't entirely object to a little sun bake. The water looked like a colossal spill of an inkpot, there seemed no end to its depth. It was actually kind of eerie. I had this thing about the ocean; never being able to fully comprehend just how vast and bottomless it was terrified me. In my mind there were too many secrets, mysteries and tragedies entombed silently, deeply, eternally in this boundless watery grave. I honestly can't remember the last time I went in past my knees.

I dropped my shoes on the sand and crawled around the rocks for a while; dipping my toes into the ice pools and squealing like a kid. I found a big flat one to sit on and when I was comfy I pulled out my iPod and smokes. I worked hard to clear my mind, pretending to switch off my brain like a TV screen. I found if I actually visualized the sudden fade to black I had more success.

After some Neutral Milk Hotel, some Florence and some Misfits, plus three cigarettes I decided I'd been there long enough. I retrieved my shoes and headed back to my car. This time I drifted slowly, watching the sand crumble around my feet and the foam lazily spill forth just inches away. As I neared the lot I saw kids from the rez arriving in groups armed with fishing poles and homemade sports equipment (so maybe its not totally free of flying balls), and I recognized a few from the party last night so we made polite smiles at one another. Just as I was getting to my car I pulled out my ear buds and heard my name being called, I turned and smiled as Paul jogged over.

"What's shakin' girl?" he hollered when he was a few feet away.

"Just soaking up the rays man," I said with a raised brow, the meager beams of sunlight were long gone by now. "What're you up to?"

"Cliff diving."

"Cliff… diving?" I questioned. I scanned the surrounding peaks trying to look for one that didn't have 'come plummet to your death' written all over it.

"You're not serious?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Well not most of the time, but hell yeah girl! Good day for it."

"How do you figure that?"

"Calm sea." He stated obviously, like I was the one who had just bid my will to live goodbye.

"Paul… seriously, you guys dive off those things?"

"Only the men Bella." He winked and wrapping a big heavy arm around my shoulders, "Come say hi to the others."

"Boys, found a nice little Forks package waiting to jeer us on our mission. Bella you know Seth, this is Jock, Digs and Sasquatch. This is Lady Bella."

They formed a semi circle in front of me and I seriously felt like a rabbit in their presence. All huge, all biceps, and in Sasquatch's case, all hair. They helloed in an uneven goofy chorus.

"Hey dudes." I said my voice coming out steady but inside I was uncomfortable with so many people looking directly at me. I turned my head to Paul to relieve some of the pressure. "Ok this I really have to see. How easy is it for a girl of less than desirable coordination to reach the top?"

"Oh no worries babe, there's a pretty well beaten track out there by now, Quileute's been doing this for decades. Hey do you know how to work a camera? We've been wanting someone to take pictures of us leaping but all these meatheads have chunky hands and those little buttons are so hard to push!"

I grinned at his exasperation, "Happy to play Annie Leibovitz." I agreed.

"Who?"

"Never mind. Lead the way."

Paul hadn't lied, there was in fact a distinct path leading the way up through the forest to the summit with minimal obstructions. I adored the canopy of the forest. I usually wasn't one to gush over nature so much, but forests had always been a thrill for me. They reminded me of Forks and being young and I had never quite let go of the fantasy that just _maybe_ they were enchanted. The view from the top was more terrifying than spectacular to me, and the boys found it hilarious that I could only look over the edge if I dropped to my hands and knees and crawled. I needed to feel as stable as possible and even then I felt a phantom swooping in my stomach as I gazed down to the voracious meeting of water and rocks. I found a spot to the left of the jumping mark that wasn't too close to the brink and dutifully snapped pictures for an hour before I reclined against a giant tree stump for a cigarette break.

"Bella you shouldn't smoke," Digs started while he rubbed his soaking frame with a towel, "And if you have to, you should give me one." He curled his lips, which were so fucking pouty and red and full he could make a killing out of lipstick commercials. Don't they have lipstick for men in Japan or something? I swear that was on Friends once.

I laughed at his blatant request and pulled a durry from my pack. I dangled it in front of him but didn't hand it over. "You can have this when you've finished diving for the day, I won't have your lungs collapsing mid-jump."

"Bella come on, I'm fit as fuck!"

"Well then you shouldn't smoke."

"Alright fine, after the jump. It's not like eating and swimming you know."

"Yeah I realize that, this is like 400 times more dangerous."

"You gotta give it a try some time, at this point the record shows only one girl has made the jump and that was back in the nineties. Make a stand for feminism."

"I happen to hate the feminists. Its their fault guys are too afraid to open the fucking door anymore lest they get their nads ripped off and stuffed into dumplings for daring to presume a woman is incapable of doing it herself. Plus some of those dogs really could have benefitted from a bra."

Digs guffawed with his giant club hand over his mouth like I'd said something truly scandalous.

"You know I speak the truth man."

He folded himself down next to me and plucked my smokes out of my hoodie pocket. My reflexes were of course too slow to stop him.

"Please don't jump again if you have one of those."

"I swear Bella. Now I gotta talk to you about some serious shit."

"Ok. What's her name?"

He looked down on me with a cigarette dangling unlit from his half open mouth, then he rolled his eyes and tried to get his 'I'm guna try and look bored so it seems like I'm not interested even though I'm eager as a squealing fuck on the inside' face on.

"So what, you're like perceptive n shit?" He scorned.

"What's her name?" I repeated with an expectant face.

He pursed his lips and scowled for three seconds before he snorted and grabbed my lighter. With smoke in action he leaned his head back against the trunk and closed his eyes.

"Does that chick from your school realize she dances like a spastic?"

I squeaked with laughter as the image jumped into my head again.

"Her name is Jessica. And if you want in her pants I'd avoid using that as your opener."

He smirked, "Noted. You think she'd be into it if I asked her out?"

"I can't see why not. I don't think she's dating anyone, although I've yet to figure out what goes on with her and her friends. It doesn't seem like any of them are together but it could be like a casual group fucking situation."

"I don't know a lot of girls who talk like you Bella."

"We all have our special talents. I guess crudeness is mine."

"So you think I should go for it?"

"Why the fuck not. Be bold."

"And in the highly unlikely event that she turns me down has my charm worked its way into your pants yet?" he asked mischievously.

"My pants have been on the anti-charm setting for a while man."

"That's a damn shame Bella, a damn cryin' shame."

We laughed and he pulled us both up from the ground before he handed me his half finished smoke, kissed my cheek and then took a flying leap off the edge, his whistle/yelp bouncing off the clouds.

Good-looking people can never be trusted.

-0-0-0-0-

I was finally driving back into town around 2pm. I ended up going to the local grub shack with the guys where we met Quil and Claire. Everyone hovered over the camera as I flipped through the shots, which had actually turned out great. I'd asked Paul if I could take the memory card home and mess with the images on Photoshop before printing them. Quil was extremely put out that he couldn't dive with the rest of them but apparently Claire had put a cap on that idea on their second date. I couldn't really blame her, if it was Edward…

Whoa. Fuck. What? I sighed quietly, I hadn't thought about him all morning apart from when I was in bed and now I was thinking about what rules I'd lay down if he were my boyfriend. Way to make strides Bella.

I pulled into the driveway and parked crookedly. I heard the chainsaw revving out the back so I followed the garden path and admired the flowers that were blooming. Jane's work no doubt. This house is actually quite lovely with a woman's touch. I saw dad slicing through chunks of wood with huge red earmuffs and a visor. I edged around the scene of tree murder giving the flying chips a wide berth. As I came into his periphery he killed the chainsaw and pulled off his headgear.

"Hey kiddo how was your morning?"

"It was awesome actually, I stormed the beach and then met some of the rez kids who were cliff diving."

"Reckless little shits." He grunted quietly, "They ok?"

"Yeah, miraculously. It was incredible to watch. So you're getting the firewood ready?"

"Yer had this lot stacked up for a while. You eaten?"

"Mmhmm we went to the diner out there. What about you, I can make you a sandwich?"

"Nah I'll get this finished first. You had a call earlier, left the message on the notepad."

"Oh thanks who was it?"

"Stanley."

"Dad don't call people by their last names."

"How do you know she didn't ask me to? How do you know she didn't expressly say, 'Mr. Swan I would prefer it if you used my surname when relaying the message to Bella.'"

"Because I'm a genius."

"Ahrightoright. See you inside, oh and I thought Jane could join us for dinner tonight. That ok?"

"Of course. Be careful."

I went inside and saw the message. I say 'saw' instead of read because Charlie's handwriting seriously belies his age and his physical/mental capabilities. It's worse than Edward's. It's a lot easier if I just call _Stanley_ back and ask her to repeat.

"Oh my GOD for the last time I really, really don't think it's a good idea for you to dye your hair half and half."

"Thanks for the tip. Where do you stand on 60/40?"

"Oh Bella, hey. Sorry Lauren has been blowing up my phone all day with makeover ideas. Anyway, hey. Whatsup?"

"You tell me."

"I was calling before to see if you wanted to grab dinner tonight? I didn't really see much of you at the party."

"Oh that sounds cool but could we do it tomorrow? I'm hanging with the old man and his girlfriend tonight."

"That's totally fine. Well look if we're waiting until tomorrow why don't we make a day of it? Go shopping?"

"Yeah awesome."

"Ok I'll pick you up at nine?"

"Sweet deal. Later Jess."

"Bye, oh and your dad has a hot voice."

"Aw that's sweet I'll let him know."

"WAIT no Bell-"

I hung up laughing, imagining how flustered she would be, and how at this second she was vowing to fill all her prescriptions in Port Angeles from now on.

-0-0-0-0-0-

EPOV

"So are you going back tomorrow or did you score Monday off too?"

"No, unfortunately. I got an afternoon flight but we'll have to leave here in mid-morning. Do you think you could mention to mom that I'd like a car for my birthday?"

"I'll try to work it in, ignoring the small fact that you can't drive."

"I can drive!"

"You failed your permit because you were too busy looking out the window at cloud formations."

"They can tell us a lot Edward." She huffed.

"Your instructor told Mom that you needed a _lot _more practice and perhaps a Valium prescription." I laughed and then sighed dejectedly. I hadn't realized how much a missed my sister until she came back home. We talked pretty regularly but it wasn't the same as having her here.

"Did you have fun last night?"

"Of course, it was great seeing everyone again. Nothing much has changed. Well except for the newest addition."

"What addition?"

"The intriguing little slice in the leather skirt."

Jesus, don't bring up the skirt again.

"Bella." I stated.

"She's made quite the impression hasn't she?"

I started a little, unsure of the direction Alice was going in. I hesitantly brought my eyes down to meet hers. She gave me a hard, warning look.

"Everyone really likes her." I spoke carefully.

"That much is obvious."

There was an awful, awkward silence that told me Alice knew exactly what was going on. But eventually she took pity on me and broke it.

"I think she's awesome. She's stone cold cool but sweet too. There's an edge there though… like she seems somehow removed from people even when she standing right in front of them."

"I know what you mean. She's been friendly since I first met her and when I drop her off she's pretty chatty but sometimes she seems distant and... fuck I don't know like she's hurt but not _hurting_, if that makes any fucking sense."

"Do you know much about her life in LA?"

"She doesn't talk about it. She said she moved because she wanted to spend more time with her dad."

"That's good I guess, that they're close. What about her mom?"

"That box hasn't been opened. The only time she mentioned it she didn't welcome inquiries by any stretch of the imagination."

We sat in silence for a while and for the first time I really started to question Bella's motives for moving here.

"Anyway, since you're skipping town early why don't I take you out for dinner tonight? We can go to that insufferable vegetarian place."

"Edward the food there is amazing! You like their burritos."

"Its not so much the food, its just the righteous attitude and the sitar music and that musty smell."

She sighed, "Its ok, we'll go somewhere we both enjoy. That way you won't moan the whole time."

"Works for me."

"Do you want to invite Mel as well?"

"Nah, just you and me squirt."

Alice beamed then ran off to her room to change, yelling over her shoulder for me to take off 'that god-awful cardigan or I'll dye all of your clothes pink.'

-0-0-0-0-0-

We had decided on The Soul Kitchen for dinner because Alice liked their vegetarian gumbo and I liked the Doors reference in the name. That and there really isn't much choice in Forks. We settled into a booth and placed our orders.

"So what are your classmates like? Mostly girls?"

"Oh no there are heaps of guys as well. The girls suck. They're catty and mostly just try to rip off Chanel. There are a couple that are friendly, but it's really competitive. The school has intern offers set up for when we graduate and if you land one of those your career is as good as started. The Academy is really highly regarded in the fashion world so these aren't shitty internships. I guess everyone is focused solely on that. I don't understand it; yes I'd love a placement but I wanted to make some friends too. Especially as I'm new to the city."

"Well what about the guys? Or are they all as bitchy as they seem on Project Runway?"

"No actually, they're sweet. Felix and Jasper are my buddies. Super talented. And Jasper isn't gay."

"Oh really?" I stared at Alice. She stared at me. Obviously she wasn't going to give anything away right now. I gave her a knowing smile but let her off as she had me. She was telling me about her latest designs when the sound of glass meeting a wooden floor stole my attention.

"Ohhh shit dude I'm so sorry." A low, exasperated voice carried over to our table. I turned behind me and spotted Bella. She was crouched down on the floor trying to pick up the errant shards.

"I wasn't looking, sorry. How much is it?"

The waitress was a young bouncy blonde and she just laughed, "Don't worry about it, I wasn't watching where I was going either. And I was the one carrying glass! No biggie."

"Are you sure? Really I should pay for it."

"Seriously don't worry. My parents own this place. I highly doubt they'll dock my paycheck."

"Ok... thank you. I'm so sorry." Bella pulled herself up and shook her head, a bashful smile on her face.

Alice had been giggling throughout the incident but now she perched up in her seat and waved over to Bella.

"Bella, hey."

Her smile got fuller and more embarrassed as she realized we'd witnessed the mishap.

"So glad you caught that," She remarked dryly, "What's up?"

"My lovely brother is shouting me dinner tonight, I have to go back to Seattle tomorrow. Why don't you join us, we only just ordered?"

"Oh thanks I'd like to but I'm actually picking up some takeout. Jane suggested some bullshit vegetarian place but me and Charlie are carnivorous as hell."

Alice and I laughed at her frankness but mine was tinged with almost annoyance. After last night's neurosis it really wasn't fair of her to be so awesome.

"Order for Swan?" the blonde called over to Bella.

"That's me. It was so good to meet you Alice, last night was fun."

"You too Bella, hopefully I can arrange another truancy act soon."

"I'd appreciate it, have a good flight. See you tomorrow Ed." She gave me a smirk and the she was gone.

"Ed?" Alice questioned. "How does she get away with giving you a nickname?"

"Alice I truly have no idea."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

**If you got to the bottom I love you. Cheers. **


	8. DNA, WTF?

**I've popped up again!**

**Here is the next installment. I must insist that you only read this if you are of mature age and mind; the topics alluded to be not for kiddies. **

**I still own nothing. I mean, I emailed Stephenie's people a while ago asking if she'd like to go halfsies but I'm still waiting for a reply. Odd.**

**I can't stress how much I appreciate you taking the time to read this, and especially those golden babes who reviewed. Cheers.**

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**BPOV **

"_You doing ok there Twinks? Need some more?"_

"_No wayyyy dude, this shit is strong."_

"_Come poppet, the group just arrived, there's someone here who has been dying to meet you."_

_I lifted my ten-ton head to the bedroom door and saw a tall redhead slink across the threshold. She was wearing a bikini and had tattoos all over her body. She looked nothing like the regulars that came and went; they were all preppy motherfuckers with polo shirts and spray tans and yes that included the guys._

"_Hey Bella, I'm Vic. Riley has told me so much about you."_

_Riley was running his fingers through my hair, it fel g. _

"_That's cool, I don't know anything about you." I smiled daftly._

_She returned my grin and crawled onto the bed. "Hopefully that will change after tonight."_

"_Why? Do you want some blow? Riley keeps it in his Buddha. Buddha's belly."_

"_Is that what you guys have had, you look pretty serene?"_

_I giggled, "Dude I don't know what that fucker gave me, there may have been some coke in it but something sluggish too. I feel slow. But fast too. Ohhh wait we smoked before this didn't we? It's all smerged Riley. You have tattoos." I nodded at Vic's ink._

_She and Riley started chortling._

"_Come on I can't fucking move. Rilllleeyyyy" I whined._

_Riley was slumped on his side, grinning down at me with vacant eyes, "Doesn't it feel good though Twinks? I feel so good."_

_He started running his hands across my torso, I thought it would make me feel claustrophobic but it was god-like._

"_Here Bella have some water." Vic grabbed a bottle from her bag and helped me sit up a bit. _

"_This one is a keeper Riley," I emptied the water bottle and felt a small spark of energy ignite within me._

"_Fuck I'm gonna have another line, you want some Red?"_

"_Sure… but its been a while."_

"_Don't worry Vic it's good, no rat poison." My surroundings were staring to amplify, my sight gaining strength. Or maybe I was just opening my eyes properly now._

"_Where's everyone else?"_

"_They're out at the pool, the wanted to roll outside tonight cause it's a full moon."_

_Without preamble or warning or any kind of discussion about it, Vic started stroking my legs. I found it odd that her hands felt so close since I was wearing jeans. I looked at my legs to try and solve the puzzle and saw that I actually wasn't wearing jeans. I wasn't wearing anything but Riley's soft, soft t-shirt._

_That's weird. I don't remember taking my pants off. _

_I lay back down on the bed closing my eyes and listened to the rustle of Riley removing Buddha's belly in a non-sterilized environment. Bizarre images of the fat little statue being prepped for a cocainedectomy filtered through my mind, fully preoccupying me until I suddenly felt sprinkles on my thigh. The sensation opened my eyes to Riley sorting lines onto my bare skin with a black American Express card._

"_See you after the ride Vic."_

_She made a weird purring noise then bent her head and eagerly snorted three consecutive rails off my body._

_She lay down with us quietly, it could have been for five minutes or five hours, I had no concept of time. But what was obvious was when Vic's high had settled in._

"_Riley did you tell Bella about my question?" her voice was wavering, elated, breathless._

"_Twinks, Red has had her eye on you for a while, she was wondering how you feel about her."_

"_I think she's just lovely. But how can she have eyed me before? We haven't met I don't think. I'm sorry if I'm not remembering correctly." I laughed. _

"_It's been from a distance that I noticed you Bella."_

_It didn't register that that was a weird thing to say, I didn't even respond. I hummed to myself and traced patterns in the air with my fingers._

"_Are you sure this is ok?" Vic whispered._

"_Bella baby, do you want to have some fun?"_

"_Always man." I replied in a daze, not realizing the question had any specific intent. I felt the bed shift, dipping in different areas and I could sense bodies closing in on me. I didn't know what was going on, but it never occurred to me to get to the bottom of it. _

_Not even when I felt lips that were too stubble-free to belong to Riley move across my mouth, and unfamiliar hands trail along my thigh, moving inwards and upwards…_

I scrunched my face in a painful cringe. The memory had assaulted me just as I was between sleep and waking, and now I was completely alert and uncomfortable. Why, _why_ did my brain have to throw me that one? Especially so goddamn early in the morning. I shuddered in my bed feeling too many emotions smashing into each other and making a fucking mess in my chest.

I didn't necessarily care about being with a chick, that wasn't really what got to me. I can say with certainty that I am straight but experimentation doesn't freak me out. And its not like I had been a very active participant, for the most part I was just there, an indecisive, indifferent, drug fucked body. It was more the seedy nature of the whole exchange that gave me the creepy feels… I mean I didn't even know who that girl was, and there had obviously been some premeditation to the event that excluded me. If I were going to travel the fucking Sapphic route for a night I would have preferred to be in the driver's seat.

From what I could remember Vic had played around with me for a while, then turned her mouth to Riley's dick, and then there was a half baked attempt at sex between the three of us but no one had the presence of mind to really make out who went where and I was completely up in the clouds so eventually we all just lay together and sang Neil Young songs. When I had awoken the next morning Riley was spooning me and Vic was nowhere in sight.

"_We burned pretty hard last night. Are you mad?"_

"_Nah, she was hot."_

That was the only comment I'd made on the matter. I never told Riley when I felt upset about the things we did. It wasn't his fault. His role was solely enabler; I chose to take advantage of what his lifestyle offered me, I sought it out, and only I can take responsibility for that. Sure he never discouraged it but he wasn't my fucking minder, and if I believed anything I believed he would never force that shit if he knew how it affected me, because underneath his jaded, badass rich boy façade he was a really sweet guy and my best friend. The reason he was into the stuff was _because_ he was so sensitive; his parents hadn't been around for more than a week at a time since he was thirteen and he couldn't understand what that meant.

Drugs were the very epitome of a double-edged sword though. While there was nothing more exhilarating than being up and having the freedom and carefree determination to indulge any and every whim, when you came down it was hard to shuffle through the memories and figure out how you felt about the things you had done. It would be all too easy to stay continuously dusted so as to avoid the beating your conscience took when you were straight. That was where Riley was at, and everyday he got a little closer to complete oblivion. And that fucking broke my heart.

However I felt about that night, it was a turning point that I was grateful for. When I'd returned to Renee's later that day I'd locked myself in my bathroom, sat in the empty tub and stared at the drawer containing the object I hadn't used in a long time. I'd struggled with the urge and even more so with the desire to restrain myself. I'd sat there for hours fixated before the answer fell into my head.

_Get out._

I exited the tub with biblical intent and packed my shit before spending the next three days getting high with Riley. Go out with a bang and all that. On the fourth morning Mrs. Biers came barging into the room and lost her fucking shit when she saw her son and I naked, in a tangle of sheets, gin bottles and empty baggies. Naturally it didn't help matters that we just started laughing daftly at her as she birthed kittens.

By the time I arrived home Mrs. Biers had obviously placed a call to Renee expounding her argument that _I_ had bought the shit into the house. I know Riley wouldn't ever land me in it, that troll hated me because I wasn't an appropriate society girl for her prodigal son, and of course now I was the bad seed influencing him. She obstinately refused to believe that his misbehavior was in any way related to the fact that she and her husband were absent parents save for their monthly, 12-hour drop-ins. Of course that couldn't have been the catalyst for their son's drug seeking. I didn't care though, let me be the social pariah, I'm fucking begging you.

Renee had called me into the lounge red-faced and ripped me a new one before telling me to get out of her house. Strangely enough she didn't once question me about why I was using illegal substances, not even a general curiosity about how we got our hands on them. I guess there wasn't enough time to get it in during her manic rant on reputation and how could I do this to her and what are people going to think. Ever the strategist she went straight into damage control.

She'd called Charlie, then I'd called Charlie, and well… here I am.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Obnoxious honking in the driveway alerted me to Jessica's arrival a few hours later. Me, the neighbors, whoever was tripping around on Mars… the thing was fucking loud.

"Jesus does she know what day it is?" Charlie grumbled from the couch, still in his pajamas. He took the day of rest very seriously for a non-religious person.

"Sorry dad. You need anything from Port Angeles?"

"Nope I'm fine. Have fun."

The very second I shut the car door we were off. Jess had The Killers cranking on the stereo, which I was cool with as Hot Fuss was still a fucking fantastic album, and she was talking as if it were her last thirty minutes on earth.

"Um dude? I'm really not trying to be rude here but I haven't had any coffee yet."

"I don't know where this is going." She stated.

"Look you may as well know that I'm living with a substance abuse problem. I can't talk or listen or function on a normal human level without coffee blitzing through my system… I tried giving it up, joined support groups, searched for substitutes but nothing ever worked so I've resigned myself to the junkie life. And this? You talking? Its all noise until I have my hit."

"Bella you're weird. You want me to shut up?"

"No I was hoping you might pull over at the diner so I can grab a takeaway. Please?"

"Ooohh sure! Great idea, I could totally murder a mocha right now."

"Amateur." I muttered under my breath.

We made the rest of the trip in good time and I became less of an asshole as I consumed my drink. I was excited about checking out the shops. I was by no means a power shopper but small towns usually had interesting, random little stores.

"Any preferences?" Jess asked as we hopped out of the car.

"Happy to be lead around for a while but I do need to buy some cds, and if you could point me in the direction of any sort of thrift store or vintage market I would appreciate it."

Jess wrinkled her nose a little at the last request. I get it, some people are creeped out at the thought of wearing things that have already been lived in but I loved it; clothes that had been places, seen some shit, had a history.

We had a good morning rounding the entire town and by 2pm I was starving. Jess led me to a cute garden café for lunch and we both ordered a mix of salads from their cabinet selection. She'd been incredibly cool today; no backstabbing, no cruel mocking (except for when we came across the jeggings section in the clothing stores, I mean really... jeggings? Jeans or leggings for fuck's sake, there was no need to ever converge the two), and I couldn't figure out if her behavior was just for out of school time, or if I was simply discovering the different facets of her personality.

"So did you have a good time at the party?" she asked, breaking me out of my pondering.

"Um not as much fun as you." I snickered.

"Oh god… the… the dance? You saw that!"

"Of course I did, I have a built in radar for embarrassing antics."

"Fuuuuck. I can't believe I let myself do that."

"I'd say it was less you, more Jose."

She groaned again, "Did I look like an idiot?"

"No… not at all. I mean I don't actually know what the 'Dougie' looks like, but you looked um… it was very energetic."

"Screw you." she half laughed half growled.

I snorted into more laughter until she threw a piece of cucumber at me.

"Oh shut up. I guarantee that will happen to you at some point. Ok aside from my performance, did you have a good time?"

"Yeah I met Alice Cullen. She's great."

"I know she's so much fun. Bat-shit crazy but fun. You should see her clothes too they're fabulous. I really miss her. It's so weird how different her and Edward are."

"That's pretty common in twins."

"I guess so. He's just so serious all the time, he's such a grown up."

I didn't necessarily agree with this, though it seemed to be the general consensus thinking back to Quil's comment on the way to the party. So he liked to study? Geeks are hot and its not like he walks the halls quoting Kierkegaard or anything; Edward was completely free of pretention. Plus in the short time that I'd known him I'd witnessed him being a goofy dude on numerous occasions. In fact it was only during class that he seemed so 'grown up', which was kind of the point. My heart tripped a little as I realized there might just be a part of Edward that only I knew. Before my ridiculous emotions ran wild with that hunch I focused on Jess and clearing up the confusion around her group.

"Do you have a hard on for Mike?"

Her eyes flew to mine wide with shock and her mouth dropped open, freeing a square of tomato. I quickly tried to explain,

"Well it's just that according to my observations, which aren't always astute I'll concede... but in this case, well dude I thought you were into him?"

"Mike?" she snorted. "_Mike_? My god Bella, no way."

"Um ok… but why are you always flirting with him and stuff?"

"I don't know… it's just what we do. Christ I've watched that guy go from eating crayons to hiding his first pubescent boner, there is nothing there for me."

"Dude I'm extremely confused. That whole lunch table, no offense but it's like the early stages of a mass mating ritual."

She giggled at my earnestness. "We've known each other since we were kids and we just mess around together. I mean, I think everyone has made out at least once but not for any serious reason. We're swimming in a rather small pond here incase you hadn't realized."

"So none of you have any crushes on each other or anything?"

"No way."

I still wasn't satisfied. "But ok, if you're all just friends then why don't you ever step out of the cesspool and hang with other kids at school?"

She sighed; I think I was exasperating her.

"Bella. I know it seems like we're a big, snobby, clique-ey group who are only hanging out with each other because it's the popular thing to do, but we're actually all like best friends. Have been for years, that's why we hang out all the time. Sure I guess we play up the social status thing but its not because we feel obligated to. I genuinely enjoy cheerleading, I get bored in class and judging other people's clothes makes me feel better. I'm a bitch, but only in the truest sense of the word." She smirked, "And those guys are every bit the arrogant jock douches they appear to be, but underneath the bravado they're good friends and they look after us girls."

"So you're just a huge pack of frauds!" I teased.

She laughed, "People make assumptions about us, we don't correct them. Why should we?"

"No reason I can think of I guess."

"Curious Bella. You know even though you just moved here, we all like you a lot. Seriously."

"Aw. Don't hug me."

She rolled her eyes. "Anyway its not like we're totally exclusive. I mean lunch has been routine for many, many years. But in class we aren't always together, and as you would have seen on Friday night everyone goes to the same parties. I don't really know how to describe it. Its like lunchtime defines our social groups for all intents and purposes- and that goes for everyone, not just my friends- but outside of that all bets are off. Does it bother you?"

"Not at all, like you said I'm curious."

"You fit in with everyone anyway. Well, everybody worth fitting in with." She scoffed, ahh there she is, "But please Bella, never let me hear you put me and mike and hard on in the same sentence ever again."

"Noted. Ok so I have one last question then: Where do you all score?"

Her cheeks flushed tellingly, "Well being a cheerleader helps with getting to know the surrounding schools, you know from visiting games and stuff. Often we join with the PA contingent for parties and thankfully Claire and Quil open up the indigenous territory for us. God those rez guys… " She fanned herself dramatically and I decided Digs was in.

"You know how they're all like, huge?" she began.

"My eyes work, yes."

"Well do you think that stands for anything… you know… below the belt?" she wiggled her brows. "I mean it would be cruel if they were all running around with cocktail wieners in their pants right?"

"Yeeeow that would be cruel. But you know, I was with a bunch of them yesterday while they were cliff diving and watching them move around in board shorts gave me a pretty clear indication that they have well and truly graduated from the cocktail stage."

Yeah, I looked. You wouldn't you say? Your nose just grew.

Jess and I laughed like truly immature schoolgirls, which the situation warranted perfectly. This was another fun side to having girlfriends; you can't talk about small dicks with guys without them getting defensive or gross. And I had been right about Jess, there was perceptiveness to her that she kept hidden for some bizarre reason. I hoped that in time she would make it less easy for people to pigeonhole her.

-0-0-0-0-0-

By the time Jess dropped me home I was the proud owner of two new/old leather jackets, a sweet cameo necklace that had the profile of a skull instead of a pretty lady and three cds. I was fluent in iTunes but I still loved buying the physical record, my collection was going to need its own room soon.

I let myself in and caught up with Charlie. We had a nice conversation about my day and he loved the ELO vinyl I picked up for him. But sadly, he had to go and ruin everything.

"Bell have you talked to your mother lately?"

"Uh. Yeah."

"When?"

"Well I texted her when I arrived…"

"You haven't actually spoken to her since you moved here?" he looked shocked. He knew my relationship with her was strained but I don't think he realized just how distant we were.

"Call her tonight ok?"

"Fine." I sighed. I went upstairs and flopped down on my bed. My memories this morning must have been fucking prophetic.

I decided I might as well get it over and done with now. I winced as I scrolled to the house number, stole a breath before I put the phone to my ear and shuddered as the dial tone started up.

"Hello Renee speaking." The voice was sickeningly sugary.

I cleared my throat, "Um hey, hi its uhh its me."

"Well I gathered that, I don't know anyone else with such appalling telephone manners. You really should have kept up those elocution lessons."

"I think I'll manage, public speaking isn't really in the life plan. So uhh, how are you?"

"I'm fine Isabella."

Weirdest thing: I have been called Bella since birth, that was the name my mother had chosen and she seemed happy with it until she weaseled her way into the 'In' crowd. All of a sudden I was inexplicably upgraded to 'Isabella', as if 'Bella' was too lowly and common.

"Great. That's great. Ssooo what's up?"

"'What's up?' _Christ_ your language, you sound like a street urchin. What's up? I'm currently finalizing a contract for a new line of S&L jeans."

"Well that's awesome." Renee managed the communication between designers and buyers; it was actually a cool job with many sartorial perks. She'd done pretty well for herself considering she had no qualifications past high school. Sometimes being a ruthless cow really paid off.

"And how are you, my overachieving daughter? Tell me how is that move to the grand metropolis of Forks treating you? Everything you ever dreamed of and more? Boundless opportunities? Invaluable contacts? Worthwhile demographic of people?"

"You know I distinctly remember it was you who threw me out of the house."

"And how convenient you already had a bag packed," she spat.

I groaned. "Look I actually didn't call to fight."

"Well why did you call then?"

"Um shared DNA? Some believe that's enough to justify communication between two people."

"No one appreciates sarcasm Isabella."

"I do."

"Well then your brain is underdeveloped."

"Must have been all those weight loss pills you slipped into my coffee." No shit. Six months ago I'd walked into the kitchen to see the witch tipping crushed powder into my latte cup, and after some back and forth she'd confessed she'd been doing it for two weeks. I'd thrown my first ever tantrum that day, and oh my, it was epic.

"I was just trying to help sweetie, the Bernstein's annual Black and White Night was coming up and their daughter models in Vogue! But while we're on the subject have you been keeping up with your exercise?"

"Umm I went for a walk on the beach yesterday."

"Gosh I hope you stretched first." See, she says she hates sarcasm but I must've picked it up somewhere.

"I've been a little busy you know moving to a new state and all."

"Pride in appearance and grooming is paramount Isabella, you know that."

"It was written in lipstick on my mirror every morning."

She sighed tiredly, "Do you ever stop with the quips?"

"You know I don't see how it matters anymore anyway, I'm not around your friends."

"I'm just looking out for your best interests honey. How we present ourselves to the world means everything. What about grooming? I think I know a friend of a friend whose daughter's friend's girlfriend works at a halfway decent salon in Port Angeles, you should look into the tanning facilities."

My mind spun a little at the explanation before the crux of the matter became clear, "I'm even whiter than when I left!" I stated triumphantly. In this scenario, you know pissing my mother off, it worked in my favor.

"You must look a fright. I'll book you an appointment and I'll research a personal trainer too. You know I'd be more than happy to pay for it darling."

"I know. Its quite sick."

"I'm just trying to _help_ Isabella. You could be _so_ pretty if you put in a little _effort_, you've got the foundation darling. What sort of state is your hair in? Are you still opting for the 'I just fell out of a tree' look?"

"Why don't we talk about something else? How's Alistair?" Frankly I couldn't give a fuck how that shit stain was doing but I needed to change the subject asap lest I throw myself out the window.

She was silent for a few beats, probably waiting for the nostrils to stop blowing the steam.

"He's well. He often asks about you. It was unfortunate that you never made an effort to get to know him, he's a lovely man."

I swallowed back the vomit that threatened its way up my throat. Oh yeah… he was a real gem.

"I will regret that for the rest of my days. Have you got any trips coming up?"

"You know I haven't forgiven you for all the stunts you pulled." She said sharply.

"Nice segue. And I know mom, you're about as subtle as a raging bull."

"Darling, you just have to think about the consequences of your actions. People always, always remember the indiscretions. In our community you should have been more careful. I only want what's best for you and your reputation goes a long way in that."

"But I don't really care about my reputation. Not as far as your friends go anyway. What have they ever done? It's just a continuous line of brats shooting out of wealthy wombs and landing into trust funds. What qualities do they possess that earns them such respect from you?"

"Those are my friends, your friends how can you say that about them?" she flapped.

"They're not my friends Renee. You know what all those kids were like. You know it wasn't me who bought the drugs into Riley's house. You may place your priorities in a misguided hierarchy but you're not entirely stupid."

"I don't know where this sense of reverse snobbery comes from Isabella. Those kids had all sorts of doors open to them. Hell you did too. That's what I worked for, I provided for you so you wouldn't have to live the same life I did."

"So you'd happily see me married off to a junked up guy and never work a day in my life?" Don't get me wrong I love Riley, but that community was like living in a painful soap opera without the relief of the most vacuous characters dying the fuck off.

"Darling those kids are just spirited, experimenting. When the time comes Riley will step into his father's business, and you could have a lovely life taking care of the house and family, and there are plenty of charities you could work on."

I swear to god there is nothing more depressing than hearing that _that_ is a mother's dream.

"Have you seen Riley lately?"

"Oh yes, wonderful boy. He came to the house last week to drop off an invitation to his mother's party. He asked after you of course, he really misses you."

"I miss him too. Wait why did he drop off the invitation?"

"It could have been a beautiful match, you and him. You'd have been set for life. It could still work sweetie… you know his mother still isn't very happy with you but if you were willing to change your attitude I could probably get her back on our side. Her maid is friendly with Rosetta, I'm sure she'll have some dirt I could use. I know her husband is still shoving his hand up every assistant's skirt so there's always ammunition there… Darling this could work. I could set up a dinner! You could come home and start building your future, you couldn't wish for a better family."

"A father in law with a wandering eye, a mother in law who thinks my blood isn't blue enough and a drug addled husband…You're so right mother, every girl's fucking dream."

"No one's life is perfect Isabella but you have to think of the bigger picture."

"You know this was swell, really, but I gotta go." …Go bang my head against the wall.

"I'll be in touch about the salon and I'll get working on our plan. Bye sweetie!"

Just explain to me how I am related to that.

-0-0-0-0-0-

**Bitch is mental.**

**Reviewers make better lovers.**


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